Monday Night Legacy - February 23rd, 2009

[The F'N Legend Lbm]

Monday, February 23^RD, 2009

Live from the FHT Arena--------------------

ITS ABOUT
FUCKIN' TIME!!!

FHT/ELITE
IS BACK


__________________________________________________________


PRE ADVERTISED MATCH
Singles Match

Red Ninja

-vs-

Ace Andrews

__________________________________________________________


FHT HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP
Hardcore Match

The F'N Legend Lbm

-vs-

Trey "The Dude" Spruance

__________________________________________________________


ALSO FEATURING

FHT UNDISPUTED CHAMPION - Soul Reaper

ELITE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION - Trippy P

FHT/ELITE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS - Max Venom & Judy Venom

FHT/ELITE GENERAL MANAGER - Keith Williams

NIN Horror

Ash Strife

Nightmare

Crusher Casey

Killer

& Many More...




THE SATAN SHOW PREMIERE
Featuring Satan




_____________________________________________________________________________

- C O M M E N T A T O R S -
Gary King, A-Damn Hater and Wally Wilson

Wally Wilson: Are we on? Are we live? We're on? We're live... HOT DAMN WE'RE BACK ON THE AIR!!! Welcome once again to the hottest wrestling ticket in town - I'm talking about the return of FHT/ELITE Monday Night Legacy!!!

Gary King: Three months ago to the day we last came to you live with Monday Night Legacy and in the past 12 weeks - I've waited on nothing but this night! What a packed house here in the FHT Arena tonite!

A-Damn Hater: I thought we'd never be back! So far there is nothing on the table for tonite apart from former ELITE Heavyweight Champion Ace Andrews taking on Red Ninja in a rematch from Ultimate ELITE! But all the big guns are in the back! Lets get ready to rumble!!!

[The F'N Legend Lbm]

CLOSER [KINGS OF LEON] hits...

FHT/ELITE Monday Night Legacy kicks off with huge explosions going off all over the FHT Arena. Fireworks drown out the sound of Kings of Leon replacing Metallica for the first time in six years.

A bright line shines out from the entrance way that can't be looking at as out of the light comes the reigning FHT Hardcore Champion to more explosions... The F'N Legend Lbm!!!

Gary King: Listen to this ovation! If the fireworks and explosions won't deafen you - then the sound of this crowd will! The F'N Legend Lbm STILL FHT Hardcore champion after the match of the night at FHT VI against NIN Horror!

Wally Wilson: My family connection to this man aside, for six years Lbm has been the marker for everyone in this industry! What a career with many championships and many great moments!

A-Damn Hater: I've never been his friend. But there is not one man in this industry who comes close to matching the accomplishments this man has achieved. This man is the very very best at his craft!

Lbm jumps up on the ring apron and points to the lord above and says "thank you" before climbing through the ropes and stepping foot inside the ring. Lbm climbs up to the top rope and salutes and points at every fan!

Lbm jumps down and raises the FHT Hardcore Championship over his head before resting it on his shoulder. Lbm has a huge smile on his face as he nods his head. His new music fades as the crowd chant "welcome back" not only to Lbm but to the entire FHT/ELITE!

The F'N Legend Lbm: Holy fuckin' shit is it great to be back... HOME!!! *pauses* You guys missed us huh? Cause honestly from the bottom of my heart... I've missed each and everyone of you guys! Let me tell you - we wouldn't be back here tonite if it wasn't for the die hard demand of all of you. Every fuckin day despite a huge lay off - there has been people logging on to the FHT/ELITE website.

We ain't done shit all in months and yet despite that - the love you guys have for the FHT... for the ELITE... it has never weaned and it has never been broken! Its that reason that right here tonite... not P2PW, not XAW, not no crappy D'Mac Brown inspired fed. Not one of them feds are back... no FHT/ELITE IS FUCKIN' BACK!!!

Huge FHT/ELITE chant breaks out!!!

The F'N Legend Lbm: Thank you! Thank you! From all of us in the back thank you! So 2009 is upon us already and well since 2002 when this crazy shit all began - we didn't think we'd still be around in six months let alone six years! Thats a huge accomplishment!

What a crazy six/seven years too for me personally! Half the shit I can't even remember now? Let me see. I won a few belts didn't I. Let me think - FHT Undisputed (x4), FHT Hardcore (x37), FHT Tag (x4), FHT Television (x2), FHT Japan (x1), ELITE Heavyweight (x1), ELITE Undisputed (x1), ELITE Daredevil (x2), ELITE Tag (x4), ELITE Global Honored Crown (x2) and FHT/ELITE Tag (x1)!

Thats not too shabby a list now is it?! I've been married four times over the last six/seven years. Trish Stratus (yeah really), Sammy and Sally Wilson twice. The less said about all them the better. I've loads of kids - how many is it now - five sons with a potential another kid - DNA TEST pending!

I've also amongst other things, been part of the Hardcore 4 Horsemen four seperate times, had sex with Anne Robinson, blew up this FHT arena, had sex with Blade's wife, slashed j-man with a smaurai sword, had sex with Shalonda (D'Mac's missus), wrestled Ulster once in all that time, had sex with Ulster's wife, did about 400 shoot interviews, retired even more, had sex with RDJ's mother, I've died and came back from the dead, had cyber sex with Satisfaction (sorry Keith & Edge), never beaten Stone Cold Steve Austin, hacked Trippy's account, had an undefeated streak, tried to put FHT out of business with ELITE, had sex with Tracey P his sister (does he know bout that?), killed my favorite aunt, told more Satan's momma jokes than I care to remember and best of all - I publicly backed Ace Andrews to win the ELITE Heavyweight Championship! WOW!!! !!! !!!

The crowd laughed and cheered throughout!

The F'N Legend Lbm: Yes it's been a great run with alot of sex! So what now? Tell me what exactly is there left to do around here that hasn't already been done? I could shoot? You guys love it when I shoot right? But what would I shoot about? Hmm...

What about how Ulster/Stone Cold - two of this companies most loved and respected superstars ever - how they no showed the biggest ppv of the year? Or Ace Andrews' crappy world title run... man that's a whole shoot interview in itself.

I could congratulate the new FHT Undisputed Champion Soul Reaper who for the work put in over the last few months definitely deserves such an accolade. Hell I suppose he could sneaze and that would be considered putting in more work than the last champion The Joker!

And hell what of The Joker - what a way to whore of the name of Heath Ledger and indeed the legacy of _the j-man! What about ole sympathy boy Crusher Casey who's been working for ELITE for more than three years and still never managed to achieve anything!

There's Dark Angel who lets us down each and everytime he makes one of these big comebacks. Theres Max Venom who has sat on his arse as one half of the the tag team champions for the past six months... NOPE STOP!!! I'm not gonna be that guy anymore! I'm not gonna shoot anymore. People's feelings get hurt! I don't wanna be that guy!

The crowd laugh and cheer as Lbm shakes himself out of shoot mode!

The F'N Legend Lbm: Honestly I don't got that type of anger in me any more. You know all I want is for FHT/ELITE to continue. To be as strong as was or indeed I would settle for even a little more stronger than it has been recently. People asked me about tonite... what did I have planned?

You know some guys are in the back they got these big plans. I mean we got two great new champions in Trippy P and Soul Reaper. And really I mean that. Trippy P could be the greatest ELITE Heavyweight Champion if he can do with that title what he has done with the FHT Undisputed so many times before. Similarly Soul Reaper when motivated is the most venomous, charismatic, intense figure in all of our sports entertainment!

So this could be a great time for FHT/ELITE in 2009! Well for me I got no plans! I spent all of last year focused on firstly Red Ninja and then NIN Horror! The latter I can say was probably up there with my best work in my prime. My only wish is that Lbm/NIN Horror had happened in ELITE in 2005 cause then there would have been an audience that would have truly appreciated it.

I said to people in the back who asked me what was I gonna do out here tonite. I told them - I was gonna throw whatever shit I could find at the wall and see what sticks! Well here it is. My schedule is empty. I'm standing here in 2009 the reigning FHT Hardcore Champion I am daring anyone to give me something to stick my teeth in to!

I want a match! I ain't one of these guys who don't wrestle each and every week. I want a match... any match... doesn't matter who! I pledge now that in 2009, I will continue to set the standard. I'll pave the way cause I won't rest. I am gonna be in this ring each and every week on Legacy. Thats a promise! Thank you!!!

The crowd applaud and cheer as Lbm's music hits and he stands inside the ring posing with the belt saluting his fans.

[satan]

A white limousine pulls up to the FHT arena, and a chauffeur leaves the driver side door. He walks over to a the passenger side backseat door and opens it. Satan walks out dressed in a black tuxedo, and quickly smiles at the FHT Arena. The smile quickly turns into a look of anger.

Satan: WHAT? They didn't even put me on the advertisement? I was the biggest star for this promotion, and I'm not even mentioned? I have the next big talk show debuting and I get squat. This sucks.

Satan begrudgingly walks into the FHT arena as we go to commercial break.

[Ninja/Killer]

Scene opens with Red Ninja's student Jamie Coleson warming himself up. Red Ninja walks into the scene. Ninja wears a Black ICP Baseball Cap and a Black T Shirt with "The Ram" writen in Green on the Front.

RN:So what's this I hear that you've asked for a match against Soul Reaper.

JC:Hey, he attacked me after my match, I'm not going to let him think he can do that to me and get away with it just because I'm a new guy.

RN:Jamie, listen, Soul Reaper is a guy you can't really take on right away, he's dangerous Jamie, you have to be really prepared to take him on in a match.

JC:Hey, I am prepared. I've been prepared for this my entire life.

RN:Look man, as the guy who trained you I....

JC:Should realize that I'm my own man, don't get me wrong I appreacite you training me and getting me a shot in this company, but you got to let me do this, I got to stand up for myself, I have to, I can't let people think I'm a push over just because they don't know me, I don't want that, please, let me do this.

RN:Alright, but I'm warning you, be on your guard, Reaper isn't a man you can take lightly.

JC:I think you have it backwards, I'm the one who Reaper shouldn't take lightly. Just sit back and watch.

Jamie gives Ninja a pat on the shoulder then leaves. Ninja shakes his head then takes a seat as the scene fades out.

[Ninja/Killer]

"Pain" by Three Days Grace hits as Jamie Coleson makes his way to the ring. Coleson wears Black Shorts, Black Knee Pads, White Tape around his hands and wrists, and Black Boots. Coleson paces around the ring.

"Into The Fire" hits as Reaper heads down the entrance aisle in a hurry. Reaper enters the ring and is immediatley attacked by Coleson.

DING DING DING

Coleson beats on Reaper with some hard right hands. Coleson grabs Reaper by his hair then charges and slams his face into the top turnbuckle. Coleson places Reaper in the corner and starts hitting some hard chops to the chest. Coleson backs away then charges in but Reaper explodes out of the corner with a hard jumping Elbow. Reaper takes off his Robe and throws it away as Coleson gets up to his feet but Reaper doesn't waste any time and hits Coleson with another hard jumping Elbow. Reaper takes Coleson off the mat then immediatley tosses him with an Exploder Suplex. Reaper gets up as Coleson is trying to get himself up. Reaper takes Coleson off the mat then kicks him hard in the leg. Coleson's leg buckles but he keeps standing and bravely fires a hard chop across the chest of Reaper. Reaper is suprised by this and delivers another hard kick to Coleson's leg this time taking him to his knees. Reaper then follows up with a hard kick to the side of Coleson's head. Reaper takes Coleson off the mat then snapmares him over. Reaper follows up with a stiff kick to the back. Reaper lifts Coleson off the mat again then snapmares him over and delivers another hard kick to the back. Reaper covers 1,2 shoulder up.

Reaper pulls Coleson up to his feet and hits him in the head with a hard Elbow Strike. Reaper hits another hard Elbow strike but Coleson slaps him hard across the face. Coleson is on spaghetti legs as Reaper smirks then hits a Spinning Back Elbow to the back of Coleson's head. Coleson falls to the mat as Reaper covers him 1,2,Reaper pulls Coleson up. Reaper lifts Coleson up in a Torture Rack position. Reaper throws Coleson back but Coleson lands on his feet. Reaper turns as Coleson fires some desperation Forearms. Coleson takes Reaper to the ropes and attempts a whip but Reaper reverses and lifts Coleson up for the Heartstopper but Coleson reverses with a Spike DDT. Coleson covers 1,2 Shoulder up. Coleson takes Reaper off the mat and goes behind looking for a Dragon Suplex but Reaper does a Standing Switch and gets Coleson in a Half Nelson position. Coleson tries fighting out but Reaper hits some hard elbows to the back of the head then hits a Half Nelson Suplex. Reaper takes Coleson off the mat and then hits a hard Round House kick to Coleson's head. Reaper lifts Coleson up then hits the Reapers Requiem. Reaper then applys the Cold Hard Truth. The ref checks on Coleson who is out cold. The ref calls for the bell.

DING DING DING

Reaper keeps the Cold Hard Truth locked on for about ten more seconds before letting go. Reaper gets up and then rolls out of the ring. Reaper goes under the ring apron and pulls out a Barb Wire Base Ball bat. Reaper rolls back into the ring as the ref tries to stop him but Reaper swings the bat as the ref gets out of the ring. Coleson is still on the mat outcold. Reaper stalks him a bit before Red Ninja runs down to the ring with a chair in his hand. Reaper exits the ring as Ninja swings the chair wildly. Ninja demands a mic.

RN:Reaper, Reaper, you want to send me a message, well guess what, I got it loud and clear, you want a war, you better believe you'll get a war.

[Reaper]

Reaper stands at the entry way looking on at Ninja. As the crowd's cheering begins to die down, Reaper grabs a mic and smiles coldly and then addresses Ninja.

Ninja, buddy....pal. First off, let me congratulate you on having your first batch of graduates under you. They seem to be following in your footsteps in great fashion....as failures. You stand there, wanting a war? You have apparently forgotten who I am and what I do. Let me recap it for you, my name is Soul Reaper. Everywhere that WE have been together, I have succeeded where you failed. And when you got tired of watching me succeed, I had to carry you in a tag team so that you could share in some minor successes. I'm not sure who's been more of an idiot so far tonight, your joke of a student for wanting to fight me, or you for declaring war on me. You see, unlike you, I will do far more than what is necessary to prove my point.

I've done what people never expected and aligned myself with Keith and Trippy... and I assure you, they haven't changed their tune towards you. What are you going to do to combat us? Send more useless lackies our way and watch them get destroyed? The fact of the matter is, you should be lucky that I even allow you to address me at all, because to be perfectly honest, you haven't really done a hell of a lot to impress me enough for me to waste my time with you. But since you are insisting on having a losing battle against me then I will tell you this. Your little student there, thats just the beginning. Some people would do well to hide behind a shield. You're student there learned that first hand... but even the best shield can't stand forever. Theres a shield you've been hiding behind Ninja... and I guarantee you that your shield is about to be broken. I will break you Ninja, I will break you to a point that you may even forget who you are. Heed my words, because this isn't an idle threat, its the cold, hard truth.

Reaper turns his back and continues to the back room as we fade out.

[Trey Spruance]

"50 Million Year Trip" by Kyuss hits. The crowd seem to like the music but don't remember who the fuck the song is for... AND OUT WALKS FORMER TV CHAMPION TREY "THE DUDE" SPRUANCE!

A-Damn Hater: Holy shit!

Gary King: FMW and LPW wrestler Trey Spruance is back! He's gracing us with his Dudness!

A-Damn Hater: And more importantly, he's brought beer!

Trey walks down the ramp with a 6 pack in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other. He walks round the ring as the fans cheer the guy that didn't exactly do anything here. Finally, he hands The guys at the commentators table a beer each and gets in the ring with a microphone.

Trey: I'm back motherfuckers!

The crowd roar with approval, getting to see Trey doing what he does best.

Trey: I may have quit drugs everywhere else, but not here!

Trey opens a can and downs the whole beer!

A-Damn Hater: Is that even possible!?

Trey: I just motherfucking did it biatch!

Trey inhales deeply on his cigarette and seems to calm down for a miniute.

Trey: Ok, well now it's time to get serious for one second. I'm issuing an open challenge to anyone that wants to fight me in a no disqualfications, no holds barred, HARDCORE MATCH!

The crowd goes wild!

Gary King: Well you heard it hear first folks, Trey quit drugs apparently but obviously hasn't really.

A-Damn Hater: Come on, it's The Dude, he never quits.

Gary King: Right on! What's gonna happen next on this crazy ass show???

[Max Venom]

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?

Backstage at Monday Night Legacy, a bunch of jobbers have all linked hands and are singing the lyrics to the traditional New Years celebration song. Off to the side is Max Venom, sitting down and watching with a smirk on his face.

Max Venom: Ah, New Years... Just like everything else in this promotion, it arrives two months late.

There is clapping and cheering, with the sound of party poppers going off. Venom picks up both tag team title belts that were lying next to him and walks off. The camera follows him going down corridors, humming the tune to the song he just heard.

Max Venom: Of course, I'm being a bit flippant. This pretty much is the fresh start, the new year. A time to let bygones be bygones. After all, I could come down to the ring, cut a thrilling shoot promo about why I left, what was bugging me, all that good stuff... But its time for new beginnings. After all, only someone really bitter and petty would spend time dwelling on what a terrible feud Soul Reaper vs. The Joker was, especially for a main event World Title match at the biggest event of the year.

Max Venom opens a door which leads to his own personal locker room. And by own personal, he stole it from Blade after he left.

Max Venom: Anyway, for all you returning fans, or all those of you seeing Soul Reaper, Trippy P and Lbm holding titles and thinking this might be a re-run of a few years ago, I'm Max Venom. According to our formerly deceased FHT Hardcore Champion, the sole highlight of my career is sitting on my arse for six months with the Tag Team Championships. Which is incredibly untrue and hurtful, since I've actually been doing a lot of travelling to other promotions during this downtime, and I can tell you, lugging two heavy belts that are now essentially worthless through airport security is no easy feat.

Venom opens his jacket and pulls out a packet of cigarettes, lighting one up and taking a slow drag from it.

Max Venom: Now, I was booked to face Dark Angel at the infamously bad FHT VI PPV, the same one that caused this little relaunch, and the same one both of us no-showed. See, saying Dark Angel is going to no-show a big match is like saying the sun will rise tomorrow. I didn't have anything to worry about, so, in turn, I decided to no-show. Now I'm sure there'll be a bunch of guys coming in soon enough, crying up a storm, begging and sucking up for forgiveness so they can be let back into the big, happy FHT/ELITE family. Well, not me. I don't give a damn how bad this promotion fell and I don't give a damn if I was even partly responsible. Wait, no. I do give a damn if I was responsible, even in part, since I can brag about it later on.

The fans watching back in the arena boo loud enough for Venom to hear, who just rolls his eyes, annoyed, and takes another drag on his cigarette.

Max Venom: I'm not obliged to care about this place. My sole responsibility in this company is to collect a pay check at the end of the month. So tonight, I can exclusively reveal that I will not be wrestling anyone or accepting any of the open challenges on offer. I will not be Satan's special guest, I will not be doing some lame angle ripping off WCW's worst or revealing some new partner. I'm not going to come out and do a funny skit with Sir Alan Sugar or doing anything past sitting here, on my arse with the FHT/ELITE Tag Team Championships, watching the rest of this show. And at the end of this month, I'll get another paycheck for doing just that and not caring. And no one in the locker-room or upstairs in the managerial offices can do a damn thing to change that. Maybe I'll see you next week, if I feel like it.

Venom laughs, and snubs out the half-finished cigarette on Blade's old couch. He then settles down, title each side of him, and picks up the remote to turn on the television as the camera leaves his room and the scene fades out.

[nightmare]

The door to the locker room opens as Nightmare sits there, his eyes closed as he yawns softly, stretching, looking over to the door, and the camera.

Nightmare: Well hello, long time no see everyone. I hope things here haven't changed too much. Heh, I might be wrong. Things always change when I'm not around, so let me cut straight to the point. I'm back, I'm here if you want a fight, and I'm ready to bust some heads wide open. All I need is someone to challenge, and a time and place...

He leans back in his chair, yawning and stretching a bit.

Nightmare: And camera man, bring me some god damn coffee.

The camera nods and runs off.

[Trey Spruance]

The camera cuts to backstage at the FHT arena where Trey is walking around clutching a beer in his hand.

A lockeroom door opens and out walks The F'N Legend LBM!

LBM walks over to Trey who is drinking his beer quickly in anticipation of a possible fight.

LBM: Hey you, you said you wanted a hardcore match right?

Trey: Yeah, come on then, lets do this shit!

LBM: Calm down rookie, I'll fight you when I am ready, not when you say.

Trey throws the empty can at LBM's head but LBM swipes it out of the way with his forearm.

LBM: Nice try.

Trey: Bring it shitface, you may be hardcore champion and all...

Trey points at the belt LBM has over his shoulder.

Trey: but believe me when I say I'm as hardcore as it gets.

LBM: Believe you? Why should I? You'll have to prove it in the ring jobber!

Trey: Fuck you! You'll see! I'll beat you with ease asshole.

LBM: I'm willing to bet this belt you can't beat me, let alone with ease.

Trey: Do it then. I'll take that belt, and I'll take that stupid smile off of your face too.

Trey puts his middle finger up at LBM and walks off.

LBM: This is going to be intresting.

[Andre Roussimoff]

There is a man in a room. It’s a darkly lit room. Not sure which room it is, but the gloom fills the room.

This man is sitting in a chair in the middle of the room, under the dimly lit light. It sways back and forth. He sits there slumped over with his arms dangling at his side. He looks dead. Maybe he is.

Andre Roussimoff - It comes and goes… My memory.

The flashbacks… They don’t stop. But I don’t know what they are or who they are. They haunt me… They haunt me all day long.

I wake up on the side of the road… Lying in a puddle from the rain from the night before.

The blood… It still stains my clothes… But where did it come from?

The pain… Why am I filled with all this emotional and physical pain? Did I do this to me? Was it someone else?

Why can’t I remember?

How did I get here?

…The Anger…

…The Revenge…

The scene fades out as Andre Roussimoff sits there… Lifeless.

[Former FHT Employee Daniel Ice]

Dong...

Dong...

Dong...

[The crowd give a mixed reaction as “Out of the Fire” by Type O Negative slowly starts to kick in and out from the back arrives Dark Angel, smartly dressed in a suit, wearing shades and his hair slicked back. He gives a small wave to the fans at ringside, and a few choose to wave back at the ELITE wrestler]

Gary King:
Dark Angel is here! He's returned to FHT/ELITE! Again!

Wally Wilson:
Look at him, striding out here like he owns the place! Dark Angel walked out on this company once again before a big match with Max Venom, and now just walks back in and expects respect and a hero's welcome? Pathetic.

A-Damn Hater:
Well, there's certainly some fans in this arena who are pleased to see Angel back in the company. And I kinda am as well. We're talking about a near seven-footer who's got that mind built for wrestling and someone who can really go on the microphone.

Gary King:
Well, either way Dark Angel is back. I wonder what he has to say?

[Angel enters the ring and takes up the microphone. He pauses, composing himself... Before shaking his head and leaving the ring]

Wally Wilson:
Haha! He's already given up again! Its his shortest comeback yet!

A-Damn Hater:
Erm... Wally, I think he might've heard you...

[Wally goes deathly pale as Dark Angel makes his way to the commentary booth. He eyes Wally suspiciously, while shaking hands with A-Damn Hater and Gary King. He leans into both of their ears, saying something, and after a moment, both remove their headsets and get up]

Wally Wilson:
Wait, what the hell is going on? Where are they going?

[Dark Angel sits down next to Wally, placing one of the discarded headsets on, smiling]

Dark Angel:
I told them to take five. I'd say I'm fully capable of calling a FHT Hardcore Championship match alongside the voice of FHT himself, Wally Wilson...

[Wally gasps like a goldfish and manages to stammer out something that sounds vaguely like he's agreeing. Angel laughs and sits back in his chair, ready to call the next match...]

[The F'N Legend Lbm]

CLOSER [KINGS OF LEON] hits...[/color][/b]

The fans in the FHT Arena pop for the reigning FHT Hardcore Champion, as his new all new music hits for the second time as does his deliciously expensive pyrotechnic display. The F'N Legend who looks so much different from he used to look, goes to ringside and slaps hands with long time buddy Dark Angel. He then turns and heads for the ring walking up the steps in preparation for the arrival of his opponent.[/color]

Wally Wilson: What a life changing match it was between NIN Horror and Lbm at FHT VI! Lbm has freely admitted that it's likely that match took years of his career and indeed his life!

Dark Angel: All over the love of your daughter ehh Wally?!

Wally Wilson: Leave my Sally out of this! Although if she's watching... hope she's got her feet up and taking it easy - won't be long now pet! Another few weeks and she's due!

Dark Angel: And Wally do we know who's child it is yet? I mean is it her 2x time husband Lbm's child or her lover NIN Horror?

50 MILLION YEAR TRIP [KYUSS] hits...[/color][/b]

Another great pop for the returning Trey Spruance who reappeared in FHT/ELITE earliar in the programme. Trey "The Dude" Spruance as he likes to be called is smoking a cigarette with a six pack of beer under his arm. Trey Spruance jumps up on the broadcast table and salutes the fans in the FHT Arena as he then jumps up onto the ring apron and stands opposite The FHT Hardcore Champion.[/color]

Wally Wilson: Trey Spruance just one of the big surprises here on the returning FHT/ELITE Monday Night Legacy!

Dark Angel: I wouldn't say a big surprise I mean... come on... Dark Angel is here! Thats gotta be a bigger surprise than anything!?! The world is hardly pining for this... Trey Spruance versus Lbm! YAY!!!

Wally Wilson: Man you're worse behind the desk than Harold Gunther IV was back when ELITE used to run ELITE Evolution! Trey Spruance of course the former FHT Television Champion!

Dark Angel: You bitch Wally!!! Of course your right, Trey is in fact a former FHT Television Champion - a belt held by such luminaries in FHT history as Jakyll, Master, Diamond, Gavin A Young, Edgecutioner, Headbanger and The Punisher... that guy sucked!

DING DING DING... [/color][/b]

Lbm and Trey Spruance square up in the centre of the ring for the FHT Hardcore Championship trading stiff shots with each other. They share a back and forth exchange featurning clothesline attempts, dropkicks and tests of strength. Trey definitely looks to be the faster of the two as he counters some of Lbm's holds.

The fans lap up their first proper taste of action in months as the fight spills to the outside of the ring. At ringside Lbm reverses a whip into the baricade as he sends Trey into the baricade and then clothesline him over into the crowd. Lbm jumps back up on the apron and is about to leap into the crowd when Trey jumps up, leaps off the baricade and spears Lbm back into the ring through the second rope.[/color]

Dark Angel: You know what pisses me off about all this? Guys like Trey Spruance appear and reappear every few months! The same with that Nightmare guy and what you call that other one... Crusher Casey!

Wally Wilson: We have a match in progress and you are using this time to share your frankly offensive opinions on other wrestlers?

Dark Angel: I review shows... I critique performances - thats what I do! As I was saying... guys like Trey, Ash Strife/CAK (whatever), Casey, Nightmare, D'Mac, Scorpio, Andre the Giant, Max Venom! These guys come and go on an almost regular basis yet when they come back they are all expecting these big pushes. All trying to get a title win and then they gripe about glass ceiling and not getting a push!

Wally Wilson: What? You are lecturing about people disappearing and reappearing all the time? Isnt that a tad hypocritical?

Dark Angel: Can I finish? These young punks they come in and they bitch and they whine. Then you look at a guy like Lbm! Always here. Spent six years doing it all and elevating more talent than any other person - he gives and he gives and he gives. Yet why the hell should he? When these kids just fuck off without so much as a thank you?

Trey Spruance whips Lbm to the ropes. Lbm who has suffered from back problems since his car accident is visilbly in pain as Trey Spruance hurracanras Lbm across the ring and makes this match's first pin. Its of course an easy kick out as Lbm rolls to the outside.

Trey Spruance follows Lbm as Lbm tries to walk off the pain. Trey pushes Lbm in the back as Lbm turns around and nails Trey with a huge right hand. They begin brawling trading shots and are now in the aisle way. Trey lifts a fire extinguisher and goes to hit Lbm with it who kick's Trey right in the balls. Takes the extinguisher from him and smacks him in the head with it as they battle into the gorilla position.[/color]

Dark Angel: Can I talk about the Red Ninja/Soul Reaper portion of this programme?

Wally Wilson: No! Call the match!

Dark Angel: I didn't like it. Granted I'm thrilled for my buddy Reaper to be FHT Undisputed Champion again. Now really I am... The last guy - well lets just say Heath Ledger in his current state could have brought more to the role! Regardless at the ppv right - Soul Reaper [fht champ], Trippy P [elite champ] and Keith Williams [fht/elite general manager]. It was all conquering! A new supergroup... yet it was barely even referenced tonite! Has that idea been dropped or what?

Wally Wilson: Man I hope no one in the back is listening to this... for all our sakes!

Dark Angel: Surely there should have been some big awe inspiring piece from this new supergroup. Hell even if Red Ninja who clashed with Keith Williams at the ppv - had shown a bit more passion and an interest in defeating Reaper for the FHT belt - it would have been better! As for the Red Ninja Academy - I'd rather see High School Musical!

This hardcore, anything goes match between Trey Spruance and Lbm is now back in the gorilla position as we can see in the darkened area, Cowboy, FHT producer Bernstein and ELITE road agent David (sitting in his wheelchair). Trey throws Lbm across the area into the electrical equipment. Lbm fights back, backflipping Trey through the table back there.

Lbm pushes David in his wheelchair into Trey Spruance knocking him over again as he tries to get up. Lbm and Trey fight into the full backstage bit - into the Harold Gunther IV interview set were many an exciting FHT/ELITE interview takes place. We see recently evicted commentators Gary King and A-Damn Hater standing having a cigarette.

Trey throws Lbm into the television montior. Lbm is hurt as Trey picks up a television camera and smacks it into Lbm's skull. Lbm goes down as Trey looks around. He picks up Lbm's head and directs him over... Trey throws Lbm head first into a coca-cola vending machine as coke bottles begin to spill out.[/color]

Dark Angel: Hey a lot of guys ain't showed up here tonite!? Like for this the big relaunch? Where is Keith Williams? Shouldn't the boss have showed up? Tell you... why they fired Sally and gave Keith the two jobs I don't know!? At least Sally kept her talent happy...

Wally Wilson: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Dark Angel: What? I mean that she would sleep with employees! The only employees Keith ever slept with were Satisfaction and Edgecutioner in that kinky threesome years back! And you know what Keith swears he never touched Edge and that he only was there to do it with Satisfaction and I believe him!

Wally Wilson: This commentary is ridiculous!

Dark Angel: No the commentary is only ridiculous when each time the show opens, you and the other two sit there and make silly jokes with each other. Thats just damn stupid. You guys should be running down a card or putting over feuds - not doing lame ass three stooges skits! Trippy - is he even here tonite? What about Ulster or Stone Cold? Hell even NIN Horror hasn't showed and he was advertised?


Lbm and Trey are still going at it in the back as the action spills into the locker room area. There are two big locker rooms. The first one is the main event locker room which is empty. Lbm smacks Trey into lockers with a domino effect as they begin to fall to the side.

Lbm lifts up a wooden bench and throws it at Trey. Trey falls as the wooden bench is laying. Lbm lays the bench down flat again as he places Trey on top of it. Lbm jumps up on the sinks and leaps onto the prone body of Trey Spruance breaking the wooden bench. Lbm covers Trey! One, Two... Trey kicks out!

They head through into the showers which are running! Lbm and Trey both immediately stop brawling and look in shock! The camera turns and films the showers as former ELITE Heavyweight Champion Ace Andrews (still to compete later) and the entire 7 member strong H8 Klub standing showering. The camera films from the waist up (mercifully) as the seven black militia known as the H8 Klub and Ace have no idea they are being filmed. Suddenly a dropping sound (Ace dropped the soap again) can be heard as everyone laughs!!! Lbm and Trey Spruance tip toe out back into the corridor. They resume fighting![/color][/b]

Dark Angel: Holy Shit!!! For the first time in this match I am speechless!!!

Wally Wilson: Brilliant!!!

Dark Angel: No wait I'm not... What in the blue hell was that? Ace Andrews should be getting ready for his match tonite not showering? And hell is that where the H8 Klub have been hiding out these past few months! Euggghhh... I feel sick!

The action continues now as Lbm and Trey Spruance have battled into the second locker room area backstage at the FHT Arena were all new up and coming talent get ready. They fight into the locker room were quite a few of the other wrestlers are all standing.

Lbm throws Trey into a mirror cracking it and then whips him into a door. In the background we see Nightmare, Crusher Casey, Andre Rousimott and other sitting. Lbm throws Trey into a pile of bottled water. As Lbm chases after Trey we see Max Venom's two tag team championship belts lying.

Lbm picks one up and goes to crack Trey Spruance on the head with it but Max grabs it from the veterans hands. Lbm turns around and looks at Max Venom who is standing there. The two stand face to face.

Trey from behind... he goes for a double arm DDT but Lbm flips him up over onto his back. LBM-FU!!! Lbm puts Trey Spruance into position and LBM-FUs him on the concrete floor in the back! He covers him! One, Two, Three!!!

LBM WINS [6 mins 23 secs][/color]

Wally Wilson: WOW! From out of nowhere The F'N Legend Lbm nailed that John Cena inspired LBM-FU and Trey "The Dude" Spruance will live to fight another day!!!

Dark Angel: This match had everything! A guy looking like the guy from ER facing a guy who I really remembered very little about! It was back and forth and it elevated both men so much I feel! Wally Wilson my man! I'll love you and leave you! We should do this again sometime! Although you'll need to tone it down. Some of what you said there could be misconstrused as being offensive!

Wally Wilson: Dark Angel has left thankfully as... Wait a minute stay on this... Lbm is back in the locker room there and it looks like things could be kicking off!

Max Venom picks up his tag team belt and nails Lbm on the back of the skull with it now! Trey Spruance waits for Lbm to get back up as Lbm slowly does. SPRUANCE DRIVER! Trey Spruance nails Lbm with his finisher now in the locker room as Max Venom looks on gleefully. Nightmare joins in as does Crusher Casey and Andre Roussimott.

The entire newbie locker room are kicking the crap out of Lbm. Officials are on the scence now as Andre and Trey hold Lbm up as Crusher Casey picks up Lbm and powerbombs him onto the cold concrete. Dark Angel runs in to save his friend as the other wrestlers back off! Officials keep them at bay as Dark Angel checks on his friend!!![/color]

Wally Wilson: The locker room has just ganged up on Lbm and attacked him! I don't know if it was personnal or whether or not it was just the spirit of every man wanting to hold the FHT Hardcore Championship! Not one of the most likeable of people but if it wasn't for Dark Angel helping him, Lbm might have been in trouble there! We'll be back with The Satan Show!!!

[satan]

We now go to a taped off part of the arena with a talk show-esque set-up. A desk with a few comfy chairs, and a fake background of New York City. We now see the announcer of the show, none other than ex-WCW commentator Tony Schiavone with a microphone.

Tony: Ladies and gentleman, please welcome the greatest superstar the FHT ever managed to sign. A former grand slam champion, a man with great class, and still believes that he got screwed out of match of the year every year: Satan!

Cheesy music begins to play as Satan comes out from god knows where dressed in a suit and takes his seat at his desk.

Satan: Well folks, welcome to the Satan Show. Now, I know most of you are ready to turn Legacy off and watch a far superior product in Raw, but please keep watching. The more you watch, the less you chance you might see a washed-up legend like Austin or Sick Nick show up. Does the world really need a bad Steve Austin rip-off or the biggest Mick Foley rip-off since myself showing up? I know people are wondering as to why I got my own show, you can blame Keith Williams, as I do for everything that has gone wrong in my life. After I was fired for having a concussion, I sued the shit out of this company for everything they had. When I found out that they only had some magic beans that I could take, I negotiated for own segment. Now, I have a very big first, this man is a HT legend, a man who kept his body pure in a rancid environment. Ladies and gentleman: The Jo-

A stage hand runs up to Satan and whispers something.

Satan: He's not showin up? What godamn, drugged up, Heath Ledger rip-off. Who do I have as a replacement guest?

Stage hand whispers.

Satan: No guest? Did the idiots who work here not book a second guest?

Satan gets up off his desk and starts kicking his desk.

Satan: Next week, we will have real guest. Late night talk show host Conan O'Brien.

Satan walks off the set and the last thing we hear is Satan yelling "GOD DAMNIT!"

Commercial

[Trey Spruance]

Trey is walking out of the FHT arena clutching his back in pain but grinning.

Trey: I may not have won the battle... But I'll win the war. You saw what happened to LBM after he retained, he got beat down like a dog. That's what happens when you fuck with The Dude.

Trey stops to lean on a pillar and starts rolling a joint.

Trey: Man, LBM seriously mashed up my back though. LBM-FU onto concrete floor? Not cool.

Trey takes out a bottle of pills from his leather jacket.

Trey: I got super strong pain killers though so it's all good...

Trey lights the joint and starts walking again.

Trey: Think I'ma buy myself a few shots of whiskey after this and head home...

A commotion is heard and Trey turns around. Out comes Nightmare and Max Venom laughing.

Trey: What's up?

Nightmare: Nothin' just laughing about what happened to LBM.

Max Venom: Yeah, guy got the shit kicked out of him.

Trey: Yeah... shame it was after I lost.

Max Venom: Don't worry about it kid, you'll get another chance one day.

Trey inhales deeply on his joint and passes it to Max Venom.

Max Venom: Hey, cool.

Nightmare: You going to pass to me?

Max Venom: Probably not...

Trey laughs and sits on his motorbike.

Trey: See you around. Thanks for helping me get one back at LBM.

Max Venom: No problem, wasn't exactly a favour anyway, just felt like it.

Trey starts up the bike and it screams away into the distance...

Nightmare: No, seriously now, pass me the joint!

Cut to commercial!