FHT RE:VENGE - January 30th, 2013

["Sick" Nick™]

Wednesday, January 30^TH, 2013

Live from the FHT Arena, New York, NY--------------------

FHT Undisputed Championship
FHT Hardcore Championship
Presentation & Celebration




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FHT Open Challenge

-vs-


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- C O M M E N T A T O R S -


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"Boom Boom Pow" by The Black Eyed Peas starts to play. After the short intro is done, a shot of the arena is shown as the fans start to go nuts. Pyro begins to shoot off the stage as the music begins to fade out.

A-Damn Hater: Man, it's great to be back! I'm A-Damn Hater, FHT original, and welcome to the debut show of FHT RE:VENGE! After the shocking last episode of Legacy Online, we're sure to be in for a hell of an opening show!

Gary King: Yes, that's definitely true. We know that the F'n Legend, Lbm will be in attendance, that Max Venom has put out an open challenge and we're likely to see the last holder of the Legacy World Wrestling Championship, "Sick" Nick here tonight! That said, does something feel a little... off to you guys?

Gregory Brooks: Seems absolutely fine to me! Robert Gordon has spearheaded this glorious return and I'm sure the boss will not leave us disappointed on our debut episode! I can't wait to see what this new era has in store!

[Former FHT Employee Daniel Ice]

Gary King:
Well, we're going to start off this episode strong with a musical performance! We have-

[Gary is cut off by a loud roar from the fans. The camera cuts to them, showing a large man walking amongst them... It's Dark Angel! The fans reach out to him as he strides through]

Gregory Brooks:
Security? Hello? We've got an ex-employee in the building!



Gregory Brooks:
Oh, look at that. The Leader of the Legacy Legion has gone and joined them! Well, he better not cause any trouble tonight or he'll be out on his ass!

Gary King:
He has a ticket, Brooks. He's just here to watch what Robert Gordon has done with the show.

[Angel looks at the camera then points at the FHT logo printed on thin sheet metal over the barricade:



He then mouths a "really?" and rolls his eyes. The fans surround him, posing, shouting at the camera and cheering. Angel leans against the barricade, ready for the show]

A-Damn Hater:
Great to see Dark Angel showing his support for this era of FHT!

Gregory Brooks:
Yeah, well, he better remember his place. You better believe he's being watched for the rest of this show.

Gary King:
We've got a lot to get through tonight but now to our live musical performance! Ladies and Gentlemen... Wait, what?

[At the announcer table, a hideous yellow, King presses his fingers to his earpiece in disbelief at what he just heard. Brooks picks up the slack]

Gregory Brooks:
Yes, my broadcast partner is stunned by this major-league band playing at our first show! Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome NICKELBACK!

[The FHT fans just erupt into boos at this news. Nickelback, not looking particularly thrilled to be there, come onto the entrance ramp and the boos just intensify. They reach the instruments set-up and prepare to play]

LOOK AT THIS PHOTOGRAPH EVERYTIME I DO IT MAKES ME LAUGH...



Gregory Brooks:
What a performance! That's Nickelback, everyone, make sure to follow them on Twitter!

Gary King:
Well fans, it can only go uphill from here! Stay tuned!

[Ash Strife]

“The Gears” by Dethklok blast throught eh FHT arena as Ash Strife steps trough the curtains to a pop from the crowd.

Strife: Well now FHT, it has been a long time. A little too long by my preference. Now it is the night for Revenge and here I am. A “shocking” return. So what is there for Big Daddy Strife to do? Well Since I wasn’t asked to be here ahead of time I guess I’ll just go out back and find someone to give you guys a good show.

Strife drops the microphone on the stage and steps back behind the curtain.

[Austin]

"Glass Shatters" hits as Austin walks down to ringside, angrier than usual. Austin already has a microphone and walks around ringside and stops where Angel is sitting. Both men lock eyes for a moment before Austin rolls into the ring.

Austin: There I was...

CROWD: WHAT?

Austin: I said there I was....

CROWD: WHAT?

Austin: I said there I was, one minute away from winning the FHT Undisputed Championship, the belt that I carried two times, about ready to take the belt for the third time, in the arena that I built. In the House That Stone Cold Built, I had it taken away from me. Thanks to that dumbass Robert Gordon and Crusher Casey, I had that taken away from me. So I want to address Robert Gordon and I want that bastard to know that he should stay out of my business from now on and don't bother sending that big UFC-washout to help me. I'm my own man, and I helped to build this arena. It's not that house that LBM built, or the house that Trippy H built, and it sure as hell aint the house that Dark Angel built.

Austin turns toward Angel who is in the crowd casually sipping a beer.

Austin: What I see right there is the biggest coward in the history of pro wrestling. If you had any balls, you get them out of LBM's purse and walk right into this ring and fight me.

Angel starts to rise, but FHT Security comes onto the scene. Austin is clearly unhappy.

Austin: LET HIM IN DAMMIT!

Security is trying and failing to explain why a 46 year-old angry redneck can't fight a paying customer. It's failing, badly. Angel seems willing to go.

Austin: IF SECURITY DOESN'T LET HIM IN, I'LL KICK EVERY SECURITY GUARDS ASS AND THEN WE'LL HAVE A FIGHT.

One of the security idiots tries to get in the ring to reason with Austin and is promptly kicked in the gut and thrown outside. He doesn't get over the ropes all the way and lands nastily on the floor. Austin goes outside to where Angel is sitting as he begins to throw security aside as both men go nose-to-nose. More security arrive as both men are now jaw-jacking. Austin snatches the beer away from Angel, drinks and swirls it, and SPITS IT RIGHT INTO THE FACE OF ANGEL. Angel is clearly pissed as he starts to step over the barrier to only have an entire army of security and FHT Personnel to break it up. Security has to drag Austin and Angel away from each-other as Austin heads up the ramp. Austin still has the microphone.

Austin: One more thing, and want to LBM to know this. When you come out tonight, expect an old visit from Stone Cold. Expect me to walk out with a steel chair and turn you into a blithering idiot like your boy. And if Joe is done dressing up as Agent Smith, bring the Hardcore Horsemen, and I'll kick their ass just liked I kicked your ass. And that's the bottom line because Stone Cold said so.

Austin drops the microphone and heads to the back.

[Max Venom]

The Wally Wilson Memorial Bar is largely empty with the first FHT show happening. Lurking off in a shady corner however is Max Venom, casually drinking and smoking. The few patrons turn their attention to the opening door as in steps FHT owner and Hardcore Champion Robert Gordon, flanked by a few nameless guards and his personal bodyguard, Crusher Casey.

Max Venom: Didn't think this was your style, boss.

Robert Gordon: It isn't. But I wanted to find out for myself why one of my top attractions is sitting in the bar, drinking before his match tonight.

Max lets out a sinisterly cold little laugh but Gordon, with his security nearby, isn't intimidated. He sits down at the same table as Max. Venom just looks up at Gordon with a smirk, rolling his drink in his hand.

Max Venom: Match? Let's be frank, boss. There's no match happening tonight.

Robert Gordon: Max, you've put out an open challenge to any returning FHT stars and-

Max Venom: And they won't come! They never come! I hit the nail on the head when I called them all cowards a couple of weeks ago. Glory hounds too. They'll show up for the nostalgia pop and the paycheck and then leave the fans wanting. Just like Lbm will tonight. Don't get me wrong, boss, that's good business for you but when I came back here, I wanted to do more with this place than wheel out Hall of Famers for gibbering morons to applaud.

Robert Gordon: We need to build the audience, Max! Those “gibbering morons” will come for Lbm but they'll stay for the new FHT. I admit, it's still a work-in-progress, but I'm taking FHT into the 21st Century!

Max rolls his eyes a little and takes a sip of his drink. Gordon bites his tongue a little.

Max Venom: Sure is a lot of yellow. And this time I'm not just talking about the roster.

Robert Gordon: It's a bright, positive colour that you don't see other wrestling companies use! It gives us our own unique branding! That's what this is, Max, branding! When I brought you back after the WWE kicked you out-

The glass hits the table unreasonably hard and Max's smirk vanishes, leaving just a dangerous stare. Gordon realises that topic is off-limits.

Robert Gordon: When you found the WWE... unsuitable for your needs, I was there with the big contract to bring you home. I'm the one who despite everything has always praised your skill in that ring and on the microphone. I'm the one who was calling for your inevitable rise while men like Keith Williams tried to bury you out of fear for their own spots. You're one of my new faces of FHT! And with the world watching tonight, I need you at your best, not half-drunk!

Max Venom: I'm not even a quarter-drunk. Let me remind you, in no unclear terms, that you may be my boss, but I'm not a lackey like Casey there or an asskisser like Horror. The side I'm on is the side that I feel makes for good business for this company.

Robert Gordon: Yes, and that's obviously me!

No answer. Max just quietly drinks. Gordon sweats a little.

Robert Gordon: Good tag match last week. Shame about Snail, though.

Max Venom: Shame?

Robert Gordon: Thought he'd wise up, see sense and spend some time under your wing. Kid could learn a ton from you.

Max Venom: Still could. Offer's still open.

Robert Gordon: After what he did last week?

Max shrugs, brushing off the apparent rejection as he takes another swig.

Max Venom: I reached out to Snail because I knew what it was like to be in his position, being the talent this company craved but ignored, pushed aside for any and every legend they could drag out. To be the workhorse who got none of the advantages the veterans while getting triple their workload. Watching as the opportunities go to the other “rookie sensation” and watching them get wasted. Where's Ace now... Where's Alexei now?

Robert Gordon: Alexei is on an international tour and should be back soon-

Max Venom: Sure, sure. Point is, I've been there but Snail, that kid right now doesn't care. He thinks I'm just another veteran taking advantage of his hard work. I would've lashed out at the same offer back in the day. Given time though, he'll think it through. Realise his situation. I'll be waiting and ready to help him.

Gordon doesn't give an answer to this and so there's a little awkward silence. Max drinks once again, nearly finishing his glass.

Robert Gordon: Last drink. I don't want any fuck-ups in your match.

Max Venom: Fine. But I told you, there won't be a match. The FHT originals quite frankly don't have the balls.

Robert Gordon: Just be ready, OK?

Max Venom: Of course. I'm so ready I've got a back-up plan. For when I get proven right and no old FHT guy shows up to challenge me.

A grin lights up Max's face and Gordon visibly moves away, now unnerved by Max's uncharacteristic happiness.

Robert Gordon: Good man. I've got to go and manage the asylum. No more alcohol, OK? You wanna be the star here, you start acting like one.

Max gives Gordon a mock salute. Gordon sighs but takes it as a victory and signals to his back-up that it's time to move out. Max downs the last of his drink in peace as FHT goes to its next segment.

[Blade]

~FHT RE:VENGE switches view to ringside. The camera scans the crowd, everyone anticipating what is going to happen next. Before they are given the chance to wonder any further, “One Short Life” by Motorhead hits the PA system. The audience perk up, unsure at whom this mystery theme belongs to. But as soon as Blade walks through the curtain, an air of mixed emotions creeps through the assembled masses, unsure whether this is a good or a bad thing. Blade ignores this though and simple walks to the ring in his normal manner. However there is something different, something new, something that has never been seen before. Blade is carrying in his hand a large, trunk sized suitcase, much like the one during last week’s show. Upon getting in the ring, Blade places the trunk down next to him, picks up a microphone and starts to talk.~

Blade
Well. Here I am. Again. You know, I never thought I would have to do this again. I thought that I was done, that my career in wrestling was over. It is no secret that I haven’t exactly been the most reliable person over the last few years. I show up, try and do my thing but ultimately peter out. Sometimes it is after a few months, after I have built up some momentum, and then sometimes I barely last a few weeks. These years have been tough on me, and I lost the love of something I thought I would be doing forever. Professional wrestling was dead to me.

~Blade pauses for a breather and a sip of his beer, as the crowd becomes silent.~

Blade
And quite frankly, it is still dead to me. Fuck this business. It has done nothing for me but ruin both my personal and professional life. Almost 10 years of putting my body on the line and giving it my all. My body a shell of its former self, pain where there should not be pain, numbness when there should be feeling. But what has it gotten me? Money? Yeah right, not exactly well paid down at this level. Adulation? From you lot? You lot who pick apart every single match like you are picking the last bits of meat off of a carcass but could never do it themselves. Fame? That is the most ridiculous notion of them all. Justin Bieber is more popular than me for fuck sake. All my career has given me is a string of ex-wives, a massive pile of debt and a body that struggles to get through each day.

~The crowd remain unsure as to how to react, although some are becoming restless and are beginning to boo Blade. But he ignores them as he finishes off his beer, crushes the can and throws it to the side.~

Blade
Fuck FHT, Fuck Elite, Fuck Legacy and most of all Fuck Wrestling. But yet, here I am standing in the middle of this ring. Why am I here? Why am I putting myself through this again? Quite frankly, it all comes down to one simple reason. It is because I am that damn good at this. And you know what they say, if you do something well then get paid to do it. I didn’t come back last week on the last Legacy Online out of the goodness of my heart or some kind of misguided loyalty to the company, or to Keith Williams, or Max Venom for that matter. I did it because I was being paid. That was supposed to be it, a one off appearance so I could get some cash to help pay my debts. But then something unexpected happened. I got offered a job, quite a well paid job...or at least well paid enough that I can relax a little bit. And the best part of the job? I’m not a wrestler. I am an entertainer and my job is to entertain. And to that end, allow me to introduce you to my new friend and tag team partner, Hardcore Steve!

~At that, Blade places the microphone down on the mat and reaches at last for his massive suitcase. He lays it down on his back, flips open the latches and reaches inside. The first thing he pulls out is a small foldable table, not much bigger than a bar stool, which he pulls out and stands upright. This is followed by a sheet of purple cloth which he drapes over the table. He then returns to the trunk, looks around at the confused audience and smiles, before pulling out the final item...a buck toothed ventriloquist dummy. Blade sits him down on the table and starts his act.~

Hardcore Steve
Haaay-lo

Blade
How you okay today Steve?

Hardcore Steve
No, not really

Blade
Why not?

Hardcore Steve
We are on an episode of Legacy, what the fuck did you expect me to feel?

Blade
No, we aren’t

Hardcore Steve
Umm...I’m fairly sure we are. I mean, what other wrestling company would hire you?

Blade
...Fair point. Technically it isn’t Legacy anymore, it got renamed back to FHT last week.

Hardcore Steve
Is there a difference?

Blade
Umm...

Hardcore Steve
That’s what I thought. I guess at least the name is better.

Blade
What was wrong with Legacy?

Hardcore Steve
Look at it this way, the remaining “stars” of 2 almost dead companies coming together and naming the company Legacy is a bit freaking pretentious is it not?

Blade
Well yeah but going back FHT isn’t much better right?

Hardcore Steve
True...but at least FHT had fans. Why the hell are we here anyway?

Blade
We’re getting paid.

Hardcore Steve
...Really?

Blade
Yup

Hardcore Steve
...How much?

Blade
Enough to keep us in beer for a few more weeks at least.

Hardcore Steve
Sweeet...Maybe I should tell a few jokes.

Blade
Na, fuck it. Don’t want to use our best material too quickly now do we, I just wanted to introduce you to the morons we will be attempting to entertain for a few months.

Hardcore Steve
Don’t put me back in the box...

Blade
What?

Hardcore Steve
It’s dark in there...

Blade
You are a puppet...

Hardcore Steve
Doesn’t stop it being dark...

Blade
It won’t be for long, I promise. And I’ll have beer when I get you out next.

Hardcore Steve
...Damnit, you know I can’t resist a good brewski. Later shitlords!

Blade
Blade and Steve, out!

~Much of the crowd are now openly booing Blade and his act as Blade packs away Steve. But he doesn’t hide his enjoyment at this, a small smile on his face. After packing up his stuff, Blade leaves the ring and walks up the ramp eventually disappearing behind the curtain as RE:VENGE cuts to commercial.~

[Keith Williams]

Gregory Brooks:
laughingThat was great! Not only is Blade a great wrestler but now he proved that he is a great stand up comedian. And Blade was brought to you by Burger King and their new avocado and Swiss whopper. Brooks holds up a avocado and Swiss whopper Will you look at this burger. Its so good i can't help but have a bite of it right now!

Gregory Brooks takes a big bite out of the sandwich. As he is chewing, a figure in a black zipped up hoodie passes by the announce both. Brooks is so startled that he begins to choke on his burger. The figure grabs a mic from the ring announcer and slides into the ring. He positions himself in one of the corners and sits down. He pulls off his hood to reveal Keith Williams.

Keith Williams:
Well, well, well..so this is the new and improved FHT. Where we have a once great hardcore wrestler now trying to be the next Jeff Dunham.Perhaps next week Blade will have a old halloween decoration dressed up and say its a terrorist or perhaps one of his ex wives.

Now I was sitting in the back watching what has been going on. First off never start a show with Nickleback.The only way You will get fans to change the channel quicker, is to get whoever plays Robert Gordon's entrance and have them perform it live. But as I was saying, I was in the back and saw that little exchange between Robert Gordon and Max Venom, not really giving it much thought because well Robert and Max was in it. I was about to walk away from the screen when something Robert said caught my attention. He said I'm the one who was calling for your inevitable rise while men like Keith Williams tried to bury you out of fear for their own spots. Tried to bury him? Folks here is where you get a inside look at what was going on when i was owner of Legacy. When we first started running shows, I needed a face of the company.Someone who could bring not only the hardcore fans in but also the casual fans. Enter Max Venom. When he won the Legacy World title, he was booked into everything. I had him doing radio spots, tv ads, print ads. Any way I could get his face and legacy noticed, i was booking him in it. He was going to Legacy's version of CM Punk. Not only can get things done inside of a wrestling ring, but give him a microphone and prey that what he said didn't hurt someone too deep *cough*Superstar * cough*. Perhaps since I was pushing him so hard as the face of Legacy is how the WWE came to notice him and offered him a contract. And you want to know how i found out about it? Max didn't come walking into my office and discussed it to me man to man. I didn't get a phone call explaining why he did what he did. I got a text. And not a big text. He just texted "I quit". Gave no explanation or anything. I didn't find out the details till I read them on the internet. Here I was pushing the guy to the moon and the ungrateful son of a bitch couldn't even have the balls to come face me and tell me that he was leaving Legacy for wwe. Then he finds out he can't hang with the big dogs and comes back to Robert Gordon with his tail tucked between his legs.

Then Max replied with a comment that i couldn't help but laugh at. He said or an asskisser like Horror.Damn did he ever hit that nail on the head. Last weeks little lovefest between NIN and Robert made me sick. The only thing missing was some cheap porn music. The fact that when NIN handed Robert the barbed wire he didn't say "come back with your shield or on it" shocked me. Nin goes around claiming to be the best wrestler in FHT. If that was the truth, why isn't he the world champion right now? Oh thats right...he never got a shot at it when i was owner. He was even put in a #1 contenders match vs Heavy Metal Snail and couldn't get the job done. He can come out here and do moves that I couldn't even tell you what they were, but in the end it means absolutely nothing.I seem to remember thought that he needed LBM to name him the Elite World Champion after he stripped me of the belt, but for whatever reason he declined that offer.and sure he can say that he beat me for the FHT world title, but funny, at our very first show of Legacy he was nowhere to be found wearing the belt..Hey camera man, come a little closer...NIN, you want to know why you never got a shot at the title while i was running the show? Its cause I can't stand you. Everything from how you present yourself all the way to how you tie your boots. You think I want someone like you representing a company that I own?Sure a corporate kiss ass like Robert would love a employee like you.I bet you greet Robert at every show with a hot cup of coffee and compliment him on how he looks in his suit.I bet you even got one of those old time show shine kits so if you seem a smudge on his shoes you can just turn around from kissing his ass to shining his shoes.


and that brings us to you, Robert Gordon. The man who brought back FHT. But not mine nor the fans FHT. Looks at that logo you have up there. I am having mid 80's wwf flashbacks looking at that. I imagine any moment that King Kong Bundy will be walking out from behind that curtain, asking for a 5 count. You know Gordon, it seems really odd that you brought back the very thing you tried to kill. If it wasn't for me beating you a year ago, right now FHT would be some forgotten promotion whos video library would be buried so deep in the wwe vault that it would never see the light of day.

Now since you have come into power, you have booked me in a handicap match, against Snail, with whom i didn't know i was facing till the last second, and then last week no match at all. You have stripped me of my music and the pyro. Hell if i hadn't came thru the audience tonight and stole this time, i wouldn't have even been booked on this show. As much as you try to get rid of me Robert, I just keep hanging around, determined to get back what you stole from me, FHT.

But Robert, you want to know what is a greater injustice then you stealing my company away from me? Its what you did to this man.Keith points to Dark Angel, to which the crowd pops.This man who once had a legion, now forced to sit among them. Now I'm not saying that me and Angel are buddies, in fact i wanted to slug the son of a bitch in the jaw quite a few times. By the way Angel, the whole sending you to eastern Europe, my bad. But you see Robert, as much as I didn't get along with Angel, I never fired him or forced him to quit. Cause you see Robert, I have something for Angel that you never had, Respect. Respect for what this man has put his body thru, not only in Legacy, but in elite and FHT. Respect for how he managed to get almost the whole of fans of Legacy behind him, naming him the Legacy leader and them his legion. Respect for the man himself. The fact that this man has never held a world title in the 3 companies that i just named is a damn shame. If anyone in the lockerroom deserved a run with a title, its this man. And for you to callously tell him that he either had to quit a company and fans that he loved or you would sit him for the remainder of his contract speaks volumes about what type of owner you are. Could the reason you did this isn't cause we are no longer legacy, but the fact that you are scared of him? Afraid that now that he is all healed up, that he would come gunning for you and make you suffer like you did him at that fateful supershow? Afraid that if someone as psychotic as The Peeps Champ couldn't take him out, that you would stand no chance in hell? If you are a owner of the people like you claim, then listen to the fans and give them what they want. Give them Dark Angel in this ring, in a world title match against "Sick" Nick...

Keith raises the microphone and the fans start chanting Dark Angel..Dark Angel..Dark Angel.. Keith drops the mic and heads to the back. FHT goes to commercial as the fans continue to chant Dark Angels name.

[Joker Jr]

["Asylum" by Disturbed blasts over the PA as the area goes black and green and purple lights flash in the area. Mistah J.J steps out from behind the curtain to a mix reaction from hardcore crowd. He proceeds down the ramp and around the ring to where Dark Angel has been reseated by the guards. He then smiles at Dark Angel before backing up to the ring and slowly entering it and then is given a microphone. The fans chant for DARK ANGEL threw the exchanged.]

Mistah J.J: H3R0? H3R0? H3R0? Dark Angal what do I have to do to make you a H3R0? I have molded you and given you the tools needed but still...........H3R0? H3R0? H3R0? They wanna know where their H3R0 is.......because you just set there and watch and.....and do NOTHING!

[Dark Angel surrounded by guards just stares as Mistah J.J shakes his head in disappointment as the fans chant DARK ANGEL!!!]

Mistah J.J: WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO ANGAL? WHAT DO THEY HAVE TO DO? DARK ANGAL ! DARK ANGAL! DARK ANGAL! They chant but.........but you do NOTHING!

[The fans chant DARK ANGEL!!! Mistah J.J paces in the ring scratching his head and laughing panicky. He walks over to a corner and sets down and starts beating the back of his head against the middle turn buckle. Suddenly he stops before reaching up and grabbing the top rope and pulling himself up to his feet.]

Mistah J.J: GORRRRDAN! GORRRRDAN! GORRRRDAN! SEND ME CRUSHER CAZZZZEY SO I CAN BREAK HIS ARM!!!

[Mistah J.J drops the microphone and stares up at the ramp..........Suddenly out of no where a huge man blind sides Mistah J.J with a clothesline from behind. He proceeds to beat Mistah J.J down using his massive size to his advantage. He begins to taunt the crowd swinging around his arm as he awaits for Mistah J.J to get up so he can run threw him with another clothesline. Mistah J.J slowly gets up feeling the effects of the attack as the guy runs at him and levels him with a huge clothesline. He taunts the crowd raising his arms in victory.......suddenly laughter echos threw out the area. The guy turns around to see Mistah J.J laughing before he runs at him kicking him in the face. Still Mistah J.J laughs as the massive man stands over him confused. Mistah J.J grabs ahold of the guy's leg, he also picks back up the microphone off the mat and he slowly begins to pull himself up to his feet.]

Mistah J.J: A new hirey of Mr. Gordan's huh? He knows how to pick them nice arms on you big and strong...........but not that much up stairs huh? HaHaHa!

[The guy grabs Mistah J.J by the neck but Mistah J.J just laughs.]

Mistah J.J: You see this isn't TNA, WWE or even Legacy anymore! ITS FHT!!!

[The hardcore fans chant FHT!!! BAM! Mistah J.J nails the guy with the microphone and the sound echos threw the area.]

Mistah J.J: Where when you step in the ring with a psychotic ?clown? the kicks, punches, clotheslines and shots with microphones are REAL!!! HaHaHa!

[Mistah J.J stomps on the right arm of the guy before nailing a elbow drop to it. He proceeds to stretch out the guy's right arm and nails it with stiff knee shots while he screams out in pain. Mistah J.J stops as he smiles before locking in THE COST. Dark Angel looks like he is going do something but is stopped by the guards as more guards rush out from the back to pull Mistah J.J off the guy but its to late SNAP! Mistah J.J lets go and moves back into a corner as EMTs rush out to help the guy.]

Mistah J.J: GORRRRDAN! GORRRRDAN! GORRRRDAN! You have to train your hitman better because this psychotic ?clown? isn't playing around! Now I understand a disfigured, crazy, psychotic, and unremorseful ?clown? may not fit the H3R0 bill but.........

[Mistah J.J looks over at Dark Angel who is still seated surround by guards unable to do nothing as the fans chant DARK ANGEL!!!]

Mistah J.J: Onnnne, two, Mistah J.J's Coming for You! Thhhhree, four , Better Lock Your Door! Fiiiive, six, Grab Your Crucifix! Seeeeven, eight, Better Stay Up Late! Niiiine,Ten, Never Sleep Again! Because there is a new nightmare and he wants your ARM! HaHaHa!

[The hardcore fans give a mix reaction as Mistah J.J tosses the microphone before he raises himself up in the corner and leaves the ring to the back.][/i]

[Former FHT Employee Daniel Ice]

Gary King:
Ladies and gentlemen, we would like to apologise for what just occurred. We can ensure you that the security officer is being looked after by our trained medical personnel and we'll keep you updated on his condition.

A-Damn Hater:
That's what The Peep's Champ has become? I really don't feel safe with that guy roaming around freely.

Gregory Brooks:
I'm sure Mr Gordon has it well in hand! But let's get off the topic of psychotic clowns and into something far more interesting!

[As Brooks gets ready to link to the next segment, the camera catches Angel calmly arguing with the security guards. The fans begin a "We want Angel" chant as the security guards try to keep the situation under control. Angel backs off finally and sits down, next to his Legacy Legion]

Gregory Brooks:
I hear a lot of concern for the members of the Legacy Ladies but don't you worry! Robert Gordon is all about equal rights between the genders and tonight has two new signings who'll be wrestling right now!

Wake up in the morning feelin' like P Diddy...

[As "Tik Tok" by Ke$ha plays, all attention turns to the ramp as a young model struts through the curtain and poses. She's going for the hot mess look but it's pretty clearly artificial]

Erik Knights:
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and has a five minute time limit! Introducing first, from "Da Club", this is DESTINY!

[Destiny straddles the ropes as she enters in a shameful way. There's some cheers, a few boos and mostly apathy]

ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS ASS (etc)

[As the aptly titled "Dance (A$$) Remix" by Big Sean plays, out comes a Nicki Minaj lookalike dressed as a stereotypical gangsta. She bodypops a little but as she's sneering a little, apparently she's the heel]

Erik Knights:
And her opponent, from "Da Streets" , this is CHARITY!

Gary King:
Why do they both have stripper names?

Gregory Brooks:
King, please! Stop being so sexist!

[Charity enters the ring, a little intimidated by the ropes. The fans aren't sure how to react to this so they don't. The bell rings, echoing in silence. The two walk up to each other, trading insulting names for women before Destiny slaps Charity. Charity pounces and grabs Destiny's hair, trying to lightly smack her head against the mat. The two roll around for a bit. The fans start to boo]

Gregory Brooks:
Which one of these two lovely women will pull out the victory here tonight? The crowd are solidly behind Destiny but the dastardly Charity might have other plans. A-Damn, your thoughts so far?

A-Damn Hater:
Erm... Charity is slightly taller so she might have the advantage?

[Gary just lets out a loud sigh as the girls continue to roll around the ring until they predictably roll into the referee. The referee pulls the stereotypical "Hey, I got lucky" face to the delight of no one. The girls emerge from the rolling ball o' doom and awkwardly circle each other. Destiny hits the world's weakest clothesline on Charity who sorta falls back into the ropes and stays up. Destiny tries again but Charity dodges and Destiny just sorta runs into the ropes and stops. Charity tries to roll Destiny up for the devastating small package but botches it. A loud "Dark Angel" chant goes up from the bored crowd]

Gary King:
Clearly the fans are as invested in this match as I am.

Gregory Brooks:
I think they're calling Angel a woman. That's hilarious!

[Charity grabs Destiny and attempts an irish whip that essentially pushes Destiny into the corner. Destiny falls down just because. Uh oh, you know what that means? It's time for the dreaded stinkface! Charity pushes her butt in Destiny's face while the fans make their displeasure known]

Gregory Brooks:
The stinkface! Vintage Rikishi! Shades of the great Torrie Wilson!

[Angel leads the crowd into a LOUD "L L W!" chant, referencing Legacy's women's division. Charity pulls Destiny out of the corner and then doesn't seem to know what to do next. She finally settles for a very telegraphed punch of some sort and Destiny avoids it with the Matrix Move, the first bit of legitimately impressive athleticism in this match. Charity turns around into a high kick from Destiny that looks like it whiffed but Charity goes down regardless. Destiny covers... 1... 2... 3! It's mercifully over]

Erik Knights:
Here is your winner, DESTINY!

[Destiny, to her credit as she faces the pissed-off FHT audience, poses and tries to look happy about what just transpired. The fans continue the loud chant for the LLW]

Gregory Brooks:
What a match! Two hard-working girls who'll only get better as time goes on.

Gary King:
I have never longed for the appearance of Blackcat Meiko more than I do now.

A-Damn Hater:
Well, thanks for staying with us during that, folks. We've still got Max Venom's open challenge to come as well as the presentation of the new title belts and rumour has it, the F'n Legend himself, Lbm is in the building! All that and more, still to come!

[Austin]

In the ring we see Mister Monday Night warming up, throwing a few kicks. "Glass Shatters" begins to play throughout the arena as Stone Cold makes his walk to ringside.

King: You don't think that it's interesting that Robert Gordon scheduled a good friend of Sick Nick against a clearly angry Steve Austin?

Brooks: Not weird at all, great decision. Did I tell you guys that Robert Gordon drives a Toyota Prius?

Hater: Sarcastically No, tell me more.

Brooks: Alright, the Priu-

Hater: THAT WAS SARCASM DUMBASS!

Austin doesn't even bother taking his vest off as he charges at Monday Night and hits a Lou Thesz Press right off the bat. Austin lands some heavy-duty punches as the ref has to pry a blood-thirsty Austin off Monday. Austin shoves the ref aside and stomps the prone Monday Night with some stiff boots. Austin eventually kicks Monday out of the ring and heads outside. MMN is by the announcers table.

Brooks: This is great television, I hope Nick is watching.

Austin lifts MMN up to his feet and slams his head into the announce table. He does this repeatedly, ignoring the ref's count. Austin gets back into the ring to break the count and goes back to assaulting MMN. Austin whips MMN into the steps so hard that he goes ass over teakettle. The ref has finally headed to the scene of Austin brutally beating a man. Austin is now stomping a proverbial mud-hole into MMN who is against the steps, occasionally bring the head of MMN away from the steps, to only push the head of MMN right back into the steps.

King: This isn't even a fair fight at this point.

Brooks: Mister Monday Night is a veteran of the FHT, I'd put the blame on himself at this point.

Hater: How?

Brooks: He clearly took this match against Austin with a lack of seriousness.

Hater: He was just told about this match a few minutes ago.

Austin has stopped the stomping and heads over to the timekeepers desk and throws the timekeeper out of his seat. Austin now has a chair, which is similar to give King Kong a chain gun. The ref tries to take the chair away from Austin, but Austin throws the ref into the barrier. The timekeeper calls for the bell by default.

Erik Knights: The winner by disqualification: Mister Monday Night.

MMN is almost to his feet when Austin lets loose with a hellacious steel chair shot that hits MMN in the back of the skull. Upon further review, Austin hit MMN with the top of the chair, not the seat. Possible Botchamania highlight. Austin drags MMN to where Dark Angel is sitting and begins to let loose with various chair shots as the "Angel" chants begin to amplify. These just make Austin hit MMN angrier.

Brooks: Dear idiots, you're just making him angrier.

Austin continues to hit away as Angel is clearly getting angrier. Austin is also yelling at Angel to do something. Finally, security and personnel report to the scene again, having to drag Austin off a now bloody MMN. Loud "Nick" chants begins as medics and even Hater check on MMN. A shocked silent FHT crowd is all we see as FHT goes to break.

[The Reverend Daddy Joe]

Gary King: We're getting word that there's a situation in the back. Do we... Yes, we're getting word we have a camera back there.

The scene backstage is a rush of excitement. The camera man hurredly rushing down the hall following behind black shirted arena security. They go into the men's bathroom, where Crusher Casey is handcuffed to a radiator pipe unconscience with blood pouring from his head. At his side there is a blood stained baseball bat, and spray painted on the wall behind him are the words "Hardcore Horsemen."

King: Oh no, Casey looks seriously hurt. Someone needs to get him some medical attention!

Gregory Brooks: Someone needs to call the cops is what they need to do! Our esteemed leader's stoic body guard has been viciously assaulted by that filthy animal RDJ! Isn't anyone going to do anything about this maniac?

A-Damn: You volunteering?

Gary King: We'll keep you updated at home as more information comes in. Obviously this is a serious situation and Casey could be badly hurt.

[Joker Jr]

[Mistah J.J is pacing back and forth in a dark part of the building. Suddenly a voice is heard behind him....]

Kevin Matthews: Mistah J.J can I speak with you?

Mistah J.J: HaHaHa! NO!

Kevin Matthews: But Mr. Gordon has sent me to let you know that your being fined $25,000 and all medical expenses of the guard you attack.

[Mistah J.J quickly turns toward the guy.]

Mistah J.J: ATTACKED? He atta........Who are you?

Kevin Matthews: Kevin Matthews the new backstage reporter hired by Mr. Gordon.

Mistah J.J: But what about Kristen and Harald? I liked those guys and I don't know how I would react if you replaced one of them.

["Mistah J.J gives Kevin Matthews a mean look.]

Kevin Matthews: NO! NO! NO! I didn't replace one of them I am just helping them out.

Mistah J.J: So let me get this straight you was hired by Mr. Gordan.......

Kevin Matthews: That's Mr. Gordon its an O not an A.

Mistah J.J: HaHaHa! Did you just correct a psychotic ?clown?

[Mistah J.J gets in Kevin Matthews' face.]

Kevin Matthews: I'm Sorry.......

Mistah J.J: Not yet your not!

Kevin Matthews: Please I'm not a wrestler......

Mistah J.J: But you was sent here to me as your first interview and we really don't need three backstage reporters. Don't you find that a bit strange?

Kevin Matthews: PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!

Mistah J.J: I hoped they offered you health insurance....

[Suddenly Mistah J.J grabs Kevin Matthews nailing him with a release belly to side suplex and Kevin Matthews lands hard on his arm. Mistah J.J stays on the attack as he nails a running dropkick to the same arm Kevin Matthews landed on. Mistah J.J proceeds to lock on THE COST as Kevin Matthews screams in pains SNAP! Mistah J.J lets go and moves himself over to the wall and leans against it.]

Mistah J.J: GORRRRD....

[Mistah J.J is stopped by the screams of Kevin Matthews but he shakes it off.]

Mistah J.J: GORRRRD.....

Kevin Matthews: YOU BROKE IT! YOU BROKE IT! YOU BROKE MY FUCKING ARM!

[Mistah J.J slowly gets up from off the ground and walks a few steps back over to Kevin Matthews.]

Mistah J.J: Gordan where do you.......

[Mistah J.J is once again stopped by the screams of Kevin Matthews BAM! Mistah J.J kicks Kevin Matthews in the face knocking him out.]

Mistah J.J: Hush, little baby, don't say a word. Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird and if that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's gonna buy you a....

[Mistah J.J nudges Kevin Matthews' head and then looks at his arm.]

Mistah J.J: Gordan Really! Really! REALLY! You send me this to work with? He is clearly over selling my ATTACK! That arm looks to believable, those screams where a bit dramatic and clearly he has now fallen ASLEEP!!!

[Mistah J.J shakes his head in disappointment and walks away. However he suddenly reenters the picture and leans down next to Kevin Matthews.]

Mistah J.J: BTW your grammar sucked in this segment....

[Mistah J.J stands up and once again leaves.][/i]

[Max Venom]

WE DO AWAY WITH YOUR KIND

COUNTDOWN TO EXTERMINATE THE HUMAN RACE...

“Puritania” hits and the fans immediately start to boo the entrance of Max Venom. They're kept waiting before the Company Killer finally emerges from the curtain, not even dressed to wrestle tonight, scraggy jeans, a red leather jacket and a Blackcat Meiko t-shirt.

Gary King: Ladies and gentlemen, if you have never seen Max Venom before now, you're in for a treat. You'll hear me say a lot about the person Max is, the fact is as a human being Max is perhaps one of the worst men to ever step into a FHT ring. However, as an in-ring competitor, on the microphone, Max Venom is unquestionably gifted.

A-Damn Hater: Max has come a long way in this company, I remember him as the weird kid in the Wrestling Apprentice. Here he is now, former Legacy World Wrestling Champion, a marquee name in his own right.

Greg Brooks: I watched this kid claw his way up the card. The leader of the Uprising, a stable of disgruntled and overlooked talents, he forced the hand of this company, he forced them to give him the ball and he has run with it ever since. And tonight, he's the big man making the open challenge to any former FHT wrestler to return and face him.

Max enters the ring, looking at his surroundings in disgust. He sees Dark Angel in the front row and the two old rivals lock eyes, as Max takes the microphone. The fans settle down from their boos to start a “Dark Angel” chant.

Max Venom: Before I get to my open challenge, let me just address the big, lanky fan in the front row who has spent the entire show trying and failing to get involved. I don't like Angel. I don't respect Angel. I think he's a asskisser, he's a sellout, he's a pathetic leech who clings to anything that'll help him become more recognisable.

Angry boos ring out from the fans, who rally behind the Leader of the Legacy Legion. Max just pulls a face, showing his utter disgust and continues through it.

Max Venom: I've never lost against that man and I can assure you I never will. He is life's loser who has never won the big one because he's incapable of it and quite frankly, his promise to protect Legacy is just the latest in a long, long line of failures. That said... The fact that Dark Angel is on that side of the guard rail is a complete disgrace.

Suddenly, cheers ring out from the fans, surprised but delighted by the unorthodox endorsement from Max. Angel just watches him, not ready to buy into this.

Max Venom: It's a disgrace because Angel would give his right arm to be in this ring tonight but instead we focus on a bunch of legends who couldn't give a damn. You know how much this company would've paid any old FHT wrestler to walk out here and take me on? Do you know the figures on the table to get some of the Hall of Famers to acknowledge, not even wrestle, hell, not even appear, but just to acknowledge FHT's existence? Do you know how many even bothered? I'll give you the answer. Open season, gentlemen. If you're out there, come out and face me. Prove me wrong! Hell, prove these fans right!

The fans are chanting “FHT” in Max's direction. Max beckons towards the entrance ramp. The fans start chanting for some of their favourite wrestlers but there's nothing happening.

Max Venom: Embarrassing. I knew it, just as I said before: Cowards. The hardcore, extreme generation either don't have the balls to face me or all there promises about how much they love the FHT was a bunch of bull[bleep]. Count them out. End this farce.

The fans boo as the referee hesitates before finally counting out the opposition. Max leans against the turnbuckle, slips his sunglasses on and just slowly shakes his head.

1...

2...

3...

The fans are pleading for someone to come out but there's still nothing there. Angel in the front row stares a hole at Max but is already being shadowed by security once again. Max continues to lean casually against the ring post.

4...

5...

6...

The fans are still chanting the letters “FHT” but are clearly starting to lose faith. Max smirks and looks like he might say something but decides to wait.

7...

8...

9...

Max Venom: And what did I tell you? None of these-

I'M SO HOOD...

HUGE reaction as Max Venom's jaw drops. He starts to freak out, grabbing the referee, demanding to know if he reached ten or not. The referee looks completely lost but finally shakes his head and Max lets go of him, running his hand through his hair, taking his jacket off and throwing it to the side, quickly preparing as the “J MAN” chants start up.

A-Damn Hater: It doesn't get much bigger than this, ladies and gentlemen! _the j-man is here! The F'n Icon, the multiple time FHT Undisputed Champion and suddenly it seems like Max Venom's mouth wrote a cheque his ass can't cash!

Gary King: Venom is freaking out! He was certain we wouldn't see anyone here tonight! But _the j-man is here! As Max loves to say, this is good business!

As the theme continues to blare through the speakers, the fans reaction starts to fade a little as nothing seems to be happening. The attention turns to the ring, where Max's freakout starts to slow down before stopping. And there it is... Max starts to smirk and even laugh at little. The fans do not care for this at all.

Max Venom: The oldest damn trick in the book! Do you think I'm an idiot? There's no one back there and if you really think so, then you're deluded. Have I made my point? Is it perfectly clear? You can hate me all you want but all I do is spit truth and in a land of lies, so it hits my targets like bullets. Finish this.

The referee looks at Max but the look he gets back ensures he finishes the count... 10. The bell rings for a match that never actually started and the fans just rain down their hate.

Max Venom: Announce it, Knights! Announce me as the winner!

Ring announcer Erik Knights has the microphone shoved in his face. He looks reluctant but is in no position to stand up to Max.

Erik Knights: Here is your winner... Max Venom.

Max Venom: Mark this date in your calenders as tonight Max Venom beat every single absent FHT wrestler in one match! And before you go off running to the internet, crying and whining that it wouldn't have happened if so-and-so was actually here... All I did was save you a few minutes and the pitiful sight of what these men have likely become, human wrecks. So, as the leader of this new generation, let me say this: Max Venom is in a state of war with FHT.

The fans seem a little unsure exactly what that means but they're more than willing to boo him for saying it. Max picks up his discarded jacket and redresses himself.

Max Venom: See, it was always good business to go back to those three letters but... I [bleep]ing hate everything they stand for.

That does not go down well.

Max Venom: Legacy Wrestling wasn't perfect but what we did was built a temple to produce quality wrestling for the future and you people made us tear it down and create a monument to our sins! The worst kind of garbage wrestlers smacking each other with foreign objects, throwing themselves off high places and then calling themselves hardcore... It was laughable then but now it's just sad. I refuse to allow this company to regress into that same mentality and promoting the same old faces and pretending it's innovative! I'm going to do the thing your precious Legacy Leader should've done, yeah that's right, Angel-

Max climbs out of the ring to get right in Angel's face. Angel stares right back, very aware of the security guards ready to pounce if he makes the wrong move.

Max Venom: I'm going to tear down this dangerous illusion of what the FHT was and the supposed greatness of those involved. I'm going to wake you all up to the harsh, cold world of reality. I'm at war with the very idea of FHT, a personal crusade to stab at the very heart of the F'n Hardcore Territory. Tonight was the warning shot. The coming weeks though, I'll be going for blood.

Max offers the microphone towards Angel but then just drops it on his side of the barricade, smirking at him as he walks back up the entrance ramp, hate pouring in from the crowd.

Greg Brooks: Always controversial, always opinionated and always one step ahead! Max Venom called it a warning shot and I think it's one that'll echo across the wrestling landscape.

Gary King: Max might feel comfortable spouting all this stuff now but I can't imagine any of the FHT originals will be taking his comments and insults lightly.

A-Damn Hater: Honestly, King, I would've loved to answer his challenge myself but... Max can get away saying this stuff because he can back it up. That's the scary thing.

Gary King: Well, stay tuned as we've got the unveiling of the new FHT Hardcore Championship and FHT Undisputed Championship. “Sick” Nick will be appearing on an FHT broadcast once again!

["Sick" Nick™]

As the first FHT RE:VENGE is winding down, "Fanfare for the Common Man" by Aaron Copland, as played by the live band, Nickelback starts to play. Robert Gordon walks out onto the stage and then down to the ring, holding the old FHT Hardcore Championship. The ring has a table in it with a table cloth draped over it with a Burger King and Diet Coke logos on it. The table is filled with hamburgers and Cokes on it. Gordon climbs into the ring and is handed a mic.

Robert Gordon:
I have to say that this first episode of FHT RE:VENGE... My show... Has been amazingly good! But the night is not over and I have even more surprises! Only the biggest names are here in the FHT and I would like to introduce you to our special celebrity guests to help us celebrate tonight!

Introducing first. He is a big time television star and reality star. He is a true renegade! LORENZO LAMAS ! ! !

The theme to Renegade starts to play as Lorenzo Lamas walks out to a few applause from the crowd. Lamas has a belt shaped bag in his hand as he walks down the ramp and gets into the ring. Lorenzo waves to the crowd as most just ignore him.

Robert Gordon:
We are not done there folks. Our next special guest and deputy of fun lights up a crowd with his hysterical comedy. He is the red headed prop extraordinaire... CARROT TOP ! ! !

A song about Carrot Top begins to play as an energetic Carrot Top hops out from behind the curtain. He too is carrying a belt shaped bag as he makes his way to the ring. As he gets in, Carrot Top extends his hand to Robert Gordon. But as Gordon goes to shake it, Carrot Top pulls his hand away and runs it through his hair. He then points at Gordon as the two burst out laughing.

Robert Gordon:
[Finishing laughing.] Oh man, what a card! Anyway. And of course we have to introduce the last ever Legacy Champion... "Sick" Nick.

The fans explode as Nick walks out. Nickelback starts to play an unique version of "Down With The Sickness" by Disturbed.



Nick walks out with the Legacy World Wrestling Championship in his hand and an odd look on his face. He slowly walks down the ramp, every once in a while looking back at Nickelback as they play this unique version of "Down With The Sickness". Nick climbs into the ring and is handed a mic.

“Sick” Nick:
What was that?

Robert Gordon:
The new FHT is for the WHOLE family. And what better way to bring the whole family together to watch the FHT then to have its champion with a great entrance theme!

“Sick” Nick:
Riiiiight.

Robert Gordon:
Anyway. LET THE CELEBRATION BEGIN ! ! !

Nickelback plays a short celebratory jingle.

Robert Gordon:
As major share holder of the FHT, I would like to usher in a new era of the FHT with new championship belts! First, I would like to recognize myself, the reigning FHT Hardcore Champion!

Carrot Top steps up to Robert Gordon with the bag in his hand. Gordon presents the old FHT Hardcore Championship.

Carrot Top:
I stand here before you today, to recognize your achievement and to pronounce you as the NEW FHT Hardcore Champion! By the powers vested in me by Diet Coke, I now pronounce you... The New and improved FHT Hardcore Champion!

Carrot Top takes the old FHT Hardcore Championship away and places it on the table. He then unzips the bag and begins to pull out a . . . handkerchief, which is tied to another handkerchief, which is tied to another handkerchief, which is tied to another handkerchief... You get the point... which is tied to another handkerchief. Gordon is laughing hysterically, when finally the new FHT Hardcore Championship is taken out.

Gordon takes hold of the belt and admires its beauty.

Robert Gordon:
This... This is what the new FHT is all about. I fought through a grueling Barbwire Match and beat RDJ with these weapons, I call hands! These hands that hold this belt destroyed Joe all by themselves!

Gary King:
Yea, NIN and Casey weren't involved at all?

Gregory Brooks:
Shut up! This is beautiful.

Robert Gordon:
As your Hardcore Champion, I vow to be hardcore and to bring you sweat and tears!

A-Damn Hater:
What happened to the blood?

Robert Gordon:
As your Hardcore Champion, I will show you what the new FHT is all about!

Gordon bows to the audience as they start to boo, realizing the crap that is spewing out of his mouth.

Robert Gordon:
We are not done there folks! Nick. As last Legacy Champion... And you did just get by, by the skin of your teeth... As last Legacy Champion, you shall be the first NEW FHT Undisputed Champion! Mr. Lamas. Please present Nick with his new belt.

Lorenzo Lamas steps in front of "Sick" Nick with the belt bag in his hands.

Lorenzo Lamas:
I stand here before you today, to recognize your achievement and to pronounce you as the NEW FHT Undisputed Champion! By the powers vested in me by Burger King, I now pronounce you... The New and improved FHT Undisputed Champion!

Lamas unzips the bag to reveal the new FHT Undisputed Championship.

Lamas hands the belt to Nick as Nick hands the Legacy World Wrestling Championship to Lamas.

Lorenzo Lamas:
And as the new FHT Undisputed Champion, I would further like to honor you as a honorary King Of The Whoppers!

Lorenzo grabs a cardboard Burger King crown off the table and places it on Nick's head.

Lorenzo Lamas:
Your majesty, you may speak now.

Lorenzo Lamas bows as he steps away.

“Sick” Nick:
Aaaaahhh, riiight. Anyway. You know. It's been a long time since I held one of these. I almost thought I wouldn't win it. I . . .

Lorenzo Lamas steps in front of Nick with a Diet Coke in his hand.

Lorenzo Lamas:
You know, I was watching that episode that you won the championship on. I was watching it with my one true love in life... Diet Coke!

Lorenzo holds up a Diet Coke can and then takes a sip from it.

“Sick” Nick:
Yea. Coke and all that stuff. Like I was saying. I . . .

All of a sudden, “King Night” by SALEM cuts off Nick. NIN Horror steps out and makes his way to the ring with a purpose.

NIN Horror:
Undisputed my ASS! I was the last FHT Undisputed Champion, and I never lost that belt. So as far as I am concerned, I am the FHT Undisputed Champion!

“Sick” Nick:
Well, if my memory serves me correctly... And with all those chair shots, it might not.

NIN gives a sarcastic smirk.

“Sick” Nick:
You participated in the Daddy Rumble to name the first Legacy World Wrestling Champion. You even came in last thanks to Keith... Well second to last, if it wasn't for Joe weaseling his way into the Rumble. And you still lost. As far as I am concerned, you had your shot at this title. You blew it budday! So get to stepping, because I am the FHT Undisputed Champion, and it is time for my speech. As I was...

NIN Horror:
You wouldn't stand a chance in the ring with me, and that's a FACT! And I have already proven that.

“Sick” Nick:
You must be mistaken little man. This is the FHT. I AM the FHT! You wouldn't last in the ring with ME!

NIN Horror:
Really? You did beat me once, but I proved that was a fluke with two straight wins over you. You want to make it a third?

“Sick” Nick:
Again, this is the FHT. And you wouldn't stand a chance with me. Why? Because I'm Hardcore!!! I'm Hardcore!!! I'M HARDCORE!!!

Crowd:
He's Hardcore!!! He's Hardcore!!! He's Hardcore!!! He's Hardcore!!! He's Hardcore!!!

“Sick” Nick:
It takes a special kind of stupid to be hardcore... And that's what I am!

NIN Horror:
Yea, like it's real hard to be hardcore. I've been in hardcore matches. I've been in hardcore Matches against you. You have to be [In a sarcastic voice.] a special kind of CRAZY! Right?

Nick just chuckles.

“Sick” Nick:
Well, I was committed to a mental institution. Is that special enough for you?

NIN just shakes his head, not impressed.

“Sick” Nick:
Look cowboy. Those [Nick does the quotes in the air with his fingers.] "hardcore" matches we had weren't real hardcore matches. They weren't FHT hardcore. I have been in the most brutal matches in the FHT. I have invented some of the most brutal matches in the FHT. You want to step in the ring with me...

Nick draws an imaginary line on the mat.

“Sick” Nick:
I told Austin the same thing I will tell you. Step up to the line.

Gordon steps in between the two to hold them off.

Robert Gordon:
Fellas, fellas. This is a celebration. NIN. Why don't you get Burger King's new Italian Chicken sandwich. And Nick. Quench that thirst with a sugar and calorie-free Diet Coke.

Lorenzo Lamas and Carrot Top step in to make sure that the two do not fight.

Robert Gordon:
Well that will do it for the first ever FHT RE:VENGE. And remember. This is the FHT. It's what the world is watching!

FHT RE:VENGE goes off the air with Nick and NIN staring a hole into each other.