Post by robert on Dec 16, 2013 18:01:47 GMT -5
We see Robert Gordon quickly adjusting the camera and then quickly sits down.
Robert: Alright, a lot of people have wondered what my job actually is and I'm here to set the record straight. I didn't get this job because that monster Keith Williams tried to end my career.
*We see a cell-phone recorded version of the finish from FHT XI/*
Robert: In reality, Kane is a great guy and even better at dealing with the talent. Unfortunately, he's not that great dealing with the office people.
Gordon: I may be great dealing with office people, but I have problems dealing with talent. Take one CM Punk for example, I had a run-in with him after last weeks Raw.
We see Gordon standing in-front of Punk with a stern look on his face.
Gordon: Punk, I want you to go to Triple H's office and APOLOGIZE for hitting him.
Punk: Who are you?
Gordon: The Co-Director of Operations.
Punk: So that means that you're another on of Triple H's ass-kissing yes men. Lemme ask you question: Have you ever said no to him?
Gordon steps aside for a moment as Punk looks befuddled.
Punk: What are you doing?
Gordon: Any moment, Roman Reigns is gonna spear you.
Voice of Roman Reigns: No I'm not.
The camera pans over to Reigns who is drinking a cup of coffee.
Voice of Gordon: Why not?
Reigns: I'm off the clock, man.
Gordon: It gets worse from there, who knew that Punk could be so hurtful. I did say no once to Triple H.
We see a meeting with Gordon, Haitch, and some road agents. Arn Anderson is talking.
Anderson: I think Sting would be perfect for a match with the Undertaker. It's in Atlanta and Sting defended WCW. It's perfect.
Triple H ponders for a moment and looks at Gordon.
Triple H: First day in the big time, what do ya think Gordon?
Gordon: Well, Arn made a spirited pitch but I think that the fans won't buy Sting as a threat to The Undertaker. Will they even know who this guy is? Now, I think Drew Carey however would be great for the Hall of Fame, let's spend the money on Sting on Drew Carey.
The camera pans over to Arn Anderson who stares a death glare at Gordon.
Gordon: For about two months, he kept telling me that he was going to find me in a parking lot and deliver a "Horsemen Style" beat down with a tire iron. He'd then do the horsemen taunt.
We see a poor employee in the boiler room at Titan Towers handcuffed to a pole. Kane has his car battery and jumper cables.
Kane: What is your name?
Man: Gerald from accounts receivable.
Kane: Okay...Gerald. WHY DID YOU EAT MY LUNCH?
Gerald: I.....I didn't.
Kane: Do you know what's on this cart?
Gerald: A Prius battery?
Kane: Yes and I once electrocuted the testicles of Shane McMahon. If I can get away with doing that, what do you think I can get away with?
Kane opens the bottle of water as Gordon suddenly bursts in.
Gordon: Kane, what in the hell are you doing?
Kane: Interrogations.
Gordon: Kane, your wife called and said that she forgot to put the food in it. She's bringing a new lunch over later. IS THAT MY CAR BATTERY?
Kane: Oh...can I still electrocute him?
Gordon: *Shrugs shoulders* Knock yourself out, just put the battery back in my car.
We see Gordon outside the boiler room on his cell phone. Loud screams echo from the boiler room.
Gordon: Paul, he's at it again. This time it was over somebody taking his lunch, his wife forgot to pack it this time. Yep, car battery, how much should I pay the employee?
We see the employee being placed in an ambulance with a handful of WWEShop gift cards.
Gordon: All I just hope is that he puts my car battery back in.
We end with Gordon sleeping on his couch.
Robert: Alright, a lot of people have wondered what my job actually is and I'm here to set the record straight. I didn't get this job because that monster Keith Williams tried to end my career.
*We see a cell-phone recorded version of the finish from FHT XI/*
Robert: In reality, Kane is a great guy and even better at dealing with the talent. Unfortunately, he's not that great dealing with the office people.
We see a room full of office people wondering why they're sitting in a conference room. Kane walks in and slams the door behind him. Gordon is quick to follow. Kane has an empty tupper-ware container in his hands...and HE'S PISSED.
Kane: I called this meeting because somebody ate my lunch. My lunch had a post-it with my name and date.
Kane holds the tupper-ware container up and the camera zooms into to see the post-it that has little flames and "KANE 12/15/13"written on it. Kane chucks the container into the sea of employees.
Kane: THE INTERROGATIONS START IN TWO HOURS.
Kane storms out and slams the door as Gordon steps into to smooth things over.
Gordon: I don't think that Kane is serious about interrogations, just respect the property of others. I think that is all for today, take an extra ten minutes of lunch today.
We see Gordon standing outside of the room.
Gordon: Serious people problems.
In the background, Kane has a utility cart with a car battery and jumper cables.
Kane: I called this meeting because somebody ate my lunch. My lunch had a post-it with my name and date.
Kane holds the tupper-ware container up and the camera zooms into to see the post-it that has little flames and "KANE 12/15/13"written on it. Kane chucks the container into the sea of employees.
Kane: THE INTERROGATIONS START IN TWO HOURS.
Kane storms out and slams the door as Gordon steps into to smooth things over.
Gordon: I don't think that Kane is serious about interrogations, just respect the property of others. I think that is all for today, take an extra ten minutes of lunch today.
We see Gordon standing outside of the room.
Gordon: Serious people problems.
In the background, Kane has a utility cart with a car battery and jumper cables.
Gordon: I may be great dealing with office people, but I have problems dealing with talent. Take one CM Punk for example, I had a run-in with him after last weeks Raw.
We see Gordon standing in-front of Punk with a stern look on his face.
Gordon: Punk, I want you to go to Triple H's office and APOLOGIZE for hitting him.
Punk: Who are you?
Gordon: The Co-Director of Operations.
Punk: So that means that you're another on of Triple H's ass-kissing yes men. Lemme ask you question: Have you ever said no to him?
Gordon steps aside for a moment as Punk looks befuddled.
Punk: What are you doing?
Gordon: Any moment, Roman Reigns is gonna spear you.
Voice of Roman Reigns: No I'm not.
The camera pans over to Reigns who is drinking a cup of coffee.
Voice of Gordon: Why not?
Reigns: I'm off the clock, man.
Gordon: It gets worse from there, who knew that Punk could be so hurtful. I did say no once to Triple H.
Late 2010
We see a meeting with Gordon, Haitch, and some road agents. Arn Anderson is talking.
Anderson: I think Sting would be perfect for a match with the Undertaker. It's in Atlanta and Sting defended WCW. It's perfect.
Triple H ponders for a moment and looks at Gordon.
Triple H: First day in the big time, what do ya think Gordon?
Gordon: Well, Arn made a spirited pitch but I think that the fans won't buy Sting as a threat to The Undertaker. Will they even know who this guy is? Now, I think Drew Carey however would be great for the Hall of Fame, let's spend the money on Sting on Drew Carey.
The camera pans over to Arn Anderson who stares a death glare at Gordon.
Gordon: For about two months, he kept telling me that he was going to find me in a parking lot and deliver a "Horsemen Style" beat down with a tire iron. He'd then do the horsemen taunt.
We see a poor employee in the boiler room at Titan Towers handcuffed to a pole. Kane has his car battery and jumper cables.
Kane: What is your name?
Man: Gerald from accounts receivable.
Kane: Okay...Gerald. WHY DID YOU EAT MY LUNCH?
Gerald: I.....I didn't.
Kane: Do you know what's on this cart?
Gerald: A Prius battery?
Kane: Yes and I once electrocuted the testicles of Shane McMahon. If I can get away with doing that, what do you think I can get away with?
Kane opens the bottle of water as Gordon suddenly bursts in.
Gordon: Kane, what in the hell are you doing?
Kane: Interrogations.
Gordon: Kane, your wife called and said that she forgot to put the food in it. She's bringing a new lunch over later. IS THAT MY CAR BATTERY?
Kane: Oh...can I still electrocute him?
Gordon: *Shrugs shoulders* Knock yourself out, just put the battery back in my car.
We see Gordon outside the boiler room on his cell phone. Loud screams echo from the boiler room.
Gordon: Paul, he's at it again. This time it was over somebody taking his lunch, his wife forgot to pack it this time. Yep, car battery, how much should I pay the employee?
We see the employee being placed in an ambulance with a handful of WWEShop gift cards.
Gordon: All I just hope is that he puts my car battery back in.
We end with Gordon sleeping on his couch.