|
Post by Keith Williams on Dec 3, 2007 12:45:13 GMT -5
The scene opens with Wally Wilson, A-Damn Hater and Gary King sitting behind a desk. Behind them is the FHT/Elite Logo. Also behind them as well is a decorated Christmas Tree.
Wally Wilson: Welcome to the FHT Holiday Special. Due to the writers strike going on in Hollywood, The network has asked FHT/Elite to have a holiday themed show. And we were happy to oblige.
Gary King: Yeah if you wanna call showing a show that is 4 years old "new television"
Wally Wilson: Gee's whats his problem?
A-Damn: You mean besides the fact that he is a major dork? Hes been trying to get someone to kiss him under the mistletoe, but so far the only person that is willing to take him up on his offer is Gavin A Young.
Just then Gavin comes walking into the studio
Gavin A Young: Now there you are,you silly boy! Now I know that you are probably shy about kissing me, but its ok. If kissing guys on the lips isn't your thing then how about this?
Gavin opens up his coat to reveal that he is sporting a belt with a piece of mistletoe on it. Gary takes one look and gets a disgusted look on his face. That is then followed by him looking like he is about to get sick. He quickly gets up out of his chair and runs off.
Gavin A Young: Wait! Come back Gary. I haven't shown you where else I have mistletoe..
With that Gavin goes running off after Gary
A Damn: Good now with him gone, we can really celebrate this Christmas, FHT style.
Wally Wilson: Yea, but due to the lawyers at the network, first I have to warn our viewers that the following is rated M. It contains Violence, Strong Language, Sexual Situations, and heavy drug use. So if you have small children, you might want to put them to bed.
A-Damn: Well duh. This is Classic FHT after all. You know when you tune in that you are going to see all that and alot more.
Wally Wilson: Ok folks. Sit back and relax. This is the FHT Christmas Special. It was taped on December 25, 2003 from the Rose Garden Arena in Portland Oregon.
The scene goes black and when it comes back on the following appears..
|
|
|
Post by Keith Williams on Dec 3, 2007 13:05:06 GMT -5
Live from the Rose GardenArena, Portland, OR ________________________________________ Thursday, December 25TH, 2003 at 8pm ET | 5pm PT ___________________________________**FHT Christmas Roulette Wheel**-Deck the Halls Match-Trippy P vs Jackyl- and --Christmas Bra and Panties Match-[/i] The Joker vs Mase-Elf on a Pole Match-[/i] Shadowwalker vs Edge-Christmas Hardcore Triple Threat Match-[/i] Satan vs David vs LunaticBoy-Random Tag Mistletoe Match-[/i] "Sick" Nick & Master vs Gavin A Young & J-T-H-Inter-Gender Christmas Dinner Food Fight Tag Match-[/i] Stone Cold Steve Austin & Miss. Hardcore vs Dragon & Choker-Fatal 4-Way Lingerie Eggnog #1 Contender Match-[/i] Satisfaction vs. Belladonna vs. Vanity vs. Sammy-Christmas Tree Match-[/i] The Peeps Champ vs Ulster_______________Commentators_______________
Kevin Kelly and A-Damn Hater ___________________________________[/center] Kevin Kelly:Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen and Welcome to a very special edition of FHT THURSDAY NIGHT ! ! ! AdRock:That's right Kev. Tonight we are having all of our matches decided by a wheel. Kevin Kelly:And each match has a Christmas theme to it. This should be a spectacular night. AdRock:It should. Wally Wilson and Eric Shun are already in the ring with the wheel and all the superstars are on the outside of the ring waiting to hear their fate. Kevin Kelly:OK, lets send it over to Wally.
|
|
|
Post by Keith Williams on Dec 3, 2007 13:10:32 GMT -5
Wally Wilson is wearing the same Santa Clause costume that he wore for Xtreme X-Mas, and Eric Shun is also wearing the same Elf costume he had on.
Wally Wilson: Hello and welcome to a very special Christmas edition of FHT Thursday Night.
Crowd: FHT!!! FHT!!! FHT!!!
Eric Shun: That’s right Wally. Tonight each of these superstars will put their fate into this wheel. Here is how we will do this. We have a ball tumbler right here. Inside this tumbler we have one ball for each superstar at ringside. We will mix up the balls and then pick one. The superstar that is picked will spin the wheel and have his destiny chosen.
Wally Wilson: OK, lets not delay this any further. Eric, please mix the balls up.
Eric turns the tumbler a couple of times and then opens the door. Wally sticks his hand in and pulls out a ball.
Wally Wilson: First up is… SaTaN ! ! !
SaTaN enters the ring and spins the wheel. The wheel goes round and round. It starts to slow down, and it lands on a Christmas Hardcore Triple Threat Match.
Wally Wilson: Well there you have it folks, SaTaN will be involved in a Christmas Hardcore Triple Threat Match. SaTaN, if you will please take two balls out of the tumbler to determine your opponents.
SaTaN sticks his hand in and pulls out two balls. Wally takes the balls and reads them off to the crowd.
Wally Wilson: SaTaN’s opponents will be… David and Lunaticboy ! ! !
The camera shows a scared look on Lunaticboy’s face as SaTaN leaves the ring.
Wally Wilson: OK, in a Christmas Hardcore Triple Threat match, there will be specially placed Christmas style weapons around the ring like Christmas trees, sleighs, and specially wrapped Christmas presents. Winner wins the match by pinfall or submission
|
|
|
Post by Keith Williams on Dec 3, 2007 13:15:11 GMT -5
Wally Wilson: OK Eric, please mix the balls up again.
Eric turns the tumbler a couple of times and then opens the door. Wally sticks his hand in and pulls out a ball.
Wally Wilson: Next up is… Jakyl ! ! !
Jakyl enters the ring and spins the wheel. The wheel continues to turn. It starts to slow down, and it lands on a Deck The Halls Match.
Wally Wilson: OK Jakyl, your match will be a Deck The Halls Match. If you will please take a ball out of the tumbler, we will see whom your opponent will be.
Jakyl sticks his hand in and pulls out a ball. Wally takes the balls and reads the name off of the ball.
Wally Wilson: Jakyl will be in a Deck The Halls Match with… Trippy P ! ! !
Jakyl: WHAT ! ! ! No, I want to pick again ! ! !
Wally Wilson: I am sorry, you can’t.
Jakyl: This is not fair.
Trippy is shown with a devious smile on his face.
Wally Wilson: Jakyl, you will be facing Trippy in a Deck The Halls Match. In this match, you will fight in a cage with special Christmas decorations on the inside of the cage. Winner wins by pinfall, submission or escape.
Jakyl storms out of the ring and to the back.
|
|
|
Post by Keith Williams on Dec 3, 2007 13:22:33 GMT -5
Wally Wilson: OK, lets pick the next person.
Eric turns the tumbler a couple of times and then opens the door. Wally sticks his hand in and pulls out a ball.
Wally Wilson: Next we have… Sammy ! ! !
Wally holds the ropes open as Sammy gets in. Sammy spins the wheel. Slowly the wheel comes to a stop.
Wally Wilson: Sammy has landed on a Fatal 4-Way Match. Ok Sammy, please pick three balls to see who your opponents will be.
Sammy takes one ball.
Wally Wilson: Sammy’s first opponent will be… Belladonna ! ! !
Sammy takes another ball.
Wally Wilson: Sammy’s second opponent will be… Vanity ! ! !
Sammy takes one last ball.
Wally Wilson: Sammy’s final opponent will be… Satisfaction ! ! !
Satisfaction: Is that it? Why don’t we make this interesting? Lets make this a Eggnog Match ! ! !
Belladonna: Why stop there? Lets also make this a lingerie match ! ! !
Eric Shun: Yes!
Wally Wilson: Ok then. Sammy will be taking on Satisfaction, Vanity and Belladonna in a Fatal 4-Way Lingerie Eggnog Match ! ! !
Crowd: FHT!!! FHT!!! FHT!!!
Choker: Why stop there? Lets make this a #1 Contenders match too! I can’t wait to see which one of you sluts will win!
Wally Wilson: So then it will be Sammy taking on Satisfaction, Vanity and Belladonna in a Fatal 4-Way Lingerie Eggnog#1 Contender Match ! ! ! Winner wins by… Well actually I don’t know?
Satisfaction: Don’t worry, you win know who the winner is ! ! !
All the women leave the ring as the picking continues.
|
|
|
Post by Keith Williams on Dec 3, 2007 13:28:51 GMT -5
Eric turns the tumbler a couple of times and then opens the door. Wally sticks his hand in and pulls out a ball.
Wally Wilson: Will… Mase please come into the ring ! ! !
Mase enters the ring and waits to spin the wheel.
Wally Wilson: OK Mase, how are you doing?
Mase: Well, I am getting there. I am still not 100%, but I need to get back in the ring. I can’t stand sitting at home anymore.
Wally Wilson: But do you think you will be able to compete with your back still hurting?
Mase: I hope so. But there is only one way to find out.
Mase spins the wheel. The wheel spins round and round and round. The wheel finally stops on a Christmas Bra & Panties Match.
Wally Wilson: Well there you have it Mase, you will be in a Bra and Panties Match.
Mase: You have got to be kidding me?
Eric Shun: The wheel was spun and your fate has been chosen. You now have to pick your opponent.
Mase sticks his hand into the tumbler and pulls out a ball. Mase doesn’t look at the ball and hands it to Wally.
Wally Wilson: Mase, your lucky opponent will be… Joker ! ! !
The camera shows Trippy and ShadowWalker rolling on the floor laughing.
Wally Wilson: So in the Bra And Panties Match will be Mase and Joker. The bra and panties will be hand selected by Gavin A. Young, from his own personal collection.
A huge smile fills Gavin’s face.
Wally Wilson: Winner wins by stripping there opponent down to their bra and panties.
Mase hangs his head low as he leaves the ring.
|
|
|
Post by Keith Williams on Dec 3, 2007 13:32:22 GMT -5
Wally Wilson: OK Eric, lets continue. We only have a few more matches to be decided.
Eric turns the tumbler a couple of times and then opens the door. Wally sticks his hand in and pulls out a ball.
Wally Wilson: Next up to spin the wheel is… The Peep’s Champ ! ! !
TPC enters the ring, blowing kisses to his peeps. He spins the wheel and it stops on a Christmas Tree Match.
Wally Wilson: OK Peepinator, you are in a Christmas Tree Match. Lets see who your opponent will be now.
TPC sticks his hand into the tumbler and pulls out a ball. TPC, in a cocky mannor, hands the ball to Wally.
Wally Wilson: Peepinator, your opponent in the Christmas Tree Match is… Ulster ! ! !
Wally Wilson: In a Christmas Tree Match, there is barbwire on top of a Christmas tree. The first person to get it can use it. Winner wins by pinfall or submission.
TPC laughs in a arrogant way as he leaves the ring.
|
|
|
Post by Keith Williams on Dec 3, 2007 13:36:58 GMT -5
Wally Wilson: It is time to pick the next person.
Eric turns the tumbler a couple of times and then opens the door. Wally sticks his hand in and pulls out a ball.
Wally Wilson: And that person is… Jobber The Hut ! ! !
Jobber slowly walks up the steps and waddles his way into the ring. He spins the wheel and it lands on a Random Tag Match.
Wally Wilson: OK Jobber, you landed on a random tag Match, but now you have to pick the stipulation. So please spin the wheel again.
Jobber spins one more time and this time it lands on a Mistletoe Match.
Wally Wilson: Jobber, you will be in a Random Tag Mistletoe Match. Please select you partner.
JTH sticks his hand into the tumbler and pulls out a ball.
Wally Wilson: Jobber, your partner will be… Gavin A. Young ! ! ! Now please select your opponents.
JTH sticks his hand into the tumbler and pulls out two balls.
Wally Wilson: Gavin and Jobber’s opponents will be… “Sick” Nick and Master ! ! !
Wally Wilson: These four lucky wrestlers will fight in a tag match. The winners win by pinfall or submission. The winners then place the mistletoe somewhere on there body, and the losers must kiss that area.
Gavin A. Young: OH JOY ! ! !
JTH Waddles back out of the ring.
|
|
|
Post by Keith Williams on Dec 3, 2007 13:42:14 GMT -5
Post by "Sick" Nick™ on 12/23/03 at 10:56am[/size]
Wally Wilson: Mix the balls Eric.
Eric turns the tumbler a couple of times and then opens the door. Wally sticks his hand in and pulls out a ball.
Wally Wilson: The next spinner will be… Miss Hardcore ! ! !
Miss Hardcore spins the wheel. The wheel slowly stops on a Inter-Gender Christmas Dinner Food Fight Tag Match.
Wally Wilson: Miss Hardcore, will you please select you partner.
Miss Hardcore sticks her hand into the tumbler and pulls out a ball.
Wally Wilson: Miss Hardcore’s partner will be… Stone Cold Steve Austin ! ! !
Stone Cold Steve Austin: Son of a… I beter bring some extra Stevewisers with me for this one.
Wally Wilson: Now please select your opponents.
Miss Hardcore sticks her hand into the tumbler and pulls out two balls.
Wally Wilson: Their opponents will be… Choker and Dragon ! ! !
Wally Wilson: This match will take place in a special area that we have set up next to the stage over there. There is a table set out with a lot of great Christmas dinner food. Winner wins by pinfall or submission.
Miss Hardcore leaves as she wave to all the boys in the crowd.
|
|
|
Post by Keith Williams on Dec 3, 2007 13:46:59 GMT -5
Post by "Sick" Nick™ on 12/23/03 at 11:12am[/size]
Wally Wilson: Last but certainly not least are ShadowWalker and Edge, the last two opponents. Will one of you please spin the wheel.
ShadowWalker enters the ring and spins the wheel. The wheel spins and spins, but it stops on an Elf On A Poll Match.
Wally Wilson: Well there you have it folks. Our last match to be decided is an Elf On A Poll Match with ShadowWalker facing Edge.
Wally Wilson: In this match, an elf will be sitting on a pole. The winner of this match is the first person to get the elf down from the pole. Now lets meet our elf. Everyone knows him and loves him. Please give a warm welcome to… The Awaken Half ! ! !
The Awaken Half: How did I get myself into this on? Yea, hey everyone look at me! I am a frigen elf… woo ! ! !
Eric Shun: OK, before all the superstars go to the back, we have a special surprise for you. Starting right now, in the back, we are having a special FHT Christmas Party ! ! !
Wally Wilson: That’s right. All the FHT Superstars are invited ! ! !
Eric Shun: So come on everyone, lets go have some fun.
Kevin Kelly: Are we invited?
AdRock: I am, but your not.
Kevin Kelly: Wait… Really?
|
|
|
Post by Keith Williams on Dec 3, 2007 13:50:59 GMT -5
Post by Trippy P on 12/23/03 at 11:33pm[/size]
Smooth hits, as Trippy P heads out to the ring, wearing the white armani suit. He is smoking a cigar, as he walks out.
Trippy P: Yes, yes the rumors are true. Its time for the Unholy Trinity christmas party, held at the ex Puppy Palace which is convienantly across the road from the arena, and payed for completely by the Unholy Trinity in conjunction with LBM and Jokers money.
The Crowd boos, hearing the LBM and Jokers money remark.
Trippy P: Now, the big question about this.... is who do we invite.... who is worthy of getting into a party held by the trinity? Well, we have made an exclusive guest list, held by the bouncers, but in exception to that list, all current FHT title holders will be admitted. The rest, well if your not on the list.... beat it. Dont think this will stop the FHTs matches, no we are still required to compete, drunk, high, paralysed from the waste down or blind tonight. Now, without further ado, i am going to my party!
Trippy Ps music hits again, as he heads backstage
|
|
|
Post by Keith Williams on Dec 3, 2007 13:55:45 GMT -5
Post by Trippy P on 12/23/03 at 11:44pm
The camera cuts out, to look across the road at the Puppy Palace.
Trippy P passes the long queue lining up to get into the puppy palace, passing a large bouncer on the way though. FHT Archivists will remember the Pit Vipers Cueball.
Trippy P: Hows business?
Cueball: Good, but this bitch keeps trying to get in. He claims to be a tag champ, we already have one of those.
Trippy P looks inside, at a crowd that includes Satisfaction, Straightcurve, Shadowwalker, 'Sick' Nick, the Joker (shit he payed for it ) He then looks at the man causing a scene.
its edge.
Trippy P:0 So, you really want in huh?
Edge: Yes!
Trippy P: I think we can come to an arrangement.
10 minutes later, edge emerges into the club in a waiters uniform, carrying drinks.
|
|
|
Post by Keith Williams on Dec 3, 2007 14:00:02 GMT -5
Post by Edgecutioner on 12/23/03 at 11:58pm
Camera cuts to a table where Shadowwalker is sitting along with a couple dancers for Shadowwalker's viewing pleasures...
Shadow: Yo waiter? Where are ya with the drink I ordered?
Edgecutioner walks over to Shadowwalker to serve his drink...
Shadow: (Almost gags with laughter) This is a joke right? I mean seriously you're kidding me right?
Edge: No joke, I only had one way in and this is it...
Shadow: Ok, Well why don't you be a good waitress and go get a drink for these fine ladies here?
Edge: I'll be right back with the drinks...
Shadow: Did you see him? The guy's a moron but somehow gets himself in here...
Dancer1: Haha... Isn't that the guy you have to fight later?
Shadow: Yeah, But don't you worry about him, I got it under control...
Dancer2: I just know you're gonna beat him tonight.
Shadow: Yeah I know, By the way where is he when you need him? Hey Edge where are you with them drinks? My girls are getting thirsty here step on it!
Camera fades in on a different table...
|
|
|
Post by Keith Williams on Dec 3, 2007 14:22:58 GMT -5
Post by _the j-man on 12/24/03 at 03:15am[/size]
[Think of the table scenes in That 70's Show as we cut to the Joker, Curve, Trippy P & "Sick" Nick sitting there watching the Joker finish rolling a blunt, as everyone looks with a big smile wait... *SCREECH!!! The Camera pans fast back to Nick.* Nick doesn't know what to think. We pan back to the Joker spark the blunt as he puffs on it.]
The Joker: Alright guys, I have to hand it to ya... Bitchin' party, invited one guy who isn't an asshole... *The Joker nods to "Sick" Nick* What's up, man?
"Sick" Nick: Chillin'
The Joker: Hey Trip, hit this... Damn!
[We cut to Trippy P taking the blunt as he puffs on it a bit with a grin on his face.]
Trippy P: Hey, I'm an asshole because I can be one, yank! I have brass... sheeeeet, I can't argue with this guy right now... *He puffs the blunt more as a tear drops down his face.* He rolled this beautiful thing!
[We see Trippy P then pass it to Curve he grins looking at the blunt as he takes a huge phat rip, inhales more as he blows it out slowly.]
CURVE: Elizabeth, it surely is most fit [Logic and common usage so commanding] In thy own book that first thy name be writ, Zeno and other sages notwithstanding; And I have other reasons for so doing Besides my innate love of contradiction; Each poet - if a poet - in pursuing The muses thro' their bowers of Truth or Fiction, Has studied very little of his part, Read nothing, written less - in short's a fool Endued with neither soul, nor sense, nor art, Being ignorant of one important rule, Employed in even the theses of the school- Called - I forget the heathenish Greek name [Called anything, its meaning is the same] "Always write first things uppermost in the heart." Written by Edgar Allan Poe, 1850.
[He leans back in his chair as he lights a cigarette. We pan back to the Joker & Trippy P who stand their for 3 seconds shocked then start laughing as Curve sits back up angry.]
Trippy P: I ha... I had, hahaha, I had no idea what you just said dude.
The Joker: HAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! hehehehehe ME NEITHER! HAHAHAHAHA!
[They look at each other both laughing as we see Curve pass the blunt to "Sick" Nick who holds it and stops. With a confused look on his face.]
"Sick" Nick: Umm... Guys, I don't smoke weed.
[The party stops as everyone looks at him shocked.]
Trippy P: What?!
[We pan to see Edge even taking a rip with ShadowWalker in the distance.]
Edge: WE'RE EVEN BLAZIN' YO!
[We then see "Sick" Nick not sure what to do. But then we see a hand grab the blunt, we pan up and it's David & the FHT Diva's (Sammy, Satisfaction, Choker, Vanity & Belladonna). The crowd pops as we see David hit the blunt. As the girls make there way to the table.]
Trippy P: Welcome ladies! No catfights yet?
Satisfaction: We're here to party! Right girls!
[We see Choker go to Curve and sit down on his lap, we see Belladonna sit in Nick's lap as he smiles and gives a thumbs up to the crowd with a pearly white smile. Vanity sits on Trippy P's lap as we see Gavin A. Young appear with a sign, "Suck on that Chasey poo!" We see Edge walk up by the Joker stands up as he puts his hand out to Satisfaction. We watch the Joker spin her around and check her out up and down. The crowd pops as she smiles standing in front of him.]
The Joker: I don't believe we've met... I'm the Joker.
Satisfaction: I'm Satisfaction... Nice to meet you.
The Joker: Please, take a seat.
[We see the Joker sit down as Edge walks up just when Satisfaction sits down on the Joker's lap. Edge looks steamed as he's about to say something.]
Trippy P: 10 Beers and 1 shot of j.d. for my boy, ShadowWalker over there! Now!
Edge: But!
The Joker: Hey! He's spending my money! Do what the man says!
[We see Edge storm off as the Joker & Satisfaction whisper sweet nothings into each others ears with one sweet giggle and one weird sick chuckle as we see Edge pass by the entrance to the party, as TPC tries to walk in, the BOUNCER, Cueball steps in his way and pushes him out and slams the door. We cut to a commerical break.]
|
|
|
Post by Keith Williams on Dec 3, 2007 14:29:21 GMT -5
Post by Trippy P on 12/24/03 at 03:32am
We come back to the party scene, as Trippy P walks over from the blunt session, red eyes and all, to the bar.
There he sees david, talking to the bartender, who is nearly asleep.
David: Then.... BOOM! The ambulance explodes.... Gimme another one of those shots will ya?
The bartender turns around to fix it....
Trippy P: Wait! What are you doing? Snake i told you to do that legally! David, we are going to have to see some ID if you are to keep drinking!
David: Why do you always do this to me? I hate you!
David storms off upset.
Trippy P takes the shot and downs it.
He then looks over to see edge staring at one of the dancers routines.
Trippy P: Get back to work damnit..... fucking virgins!
Trippy P heads to a nearby storage room, to get more supplies of alcohol, when he sees Shadowwalker.
Shadowwalker: hehehe hah huh heh hahaaa
Hes flicking the lightswitch on and off.
Trippy P: Hey, join the party man, ive been looking for you
Shadowwalker: Lights go on.... lights go off..... lights go on..... lights go off!
Trippy P: Whatever...
He grabs about 4 bottles and heads back to the party.
We see The Joker, Nick, A-damn Hater and Straightcurve all standing in a circle, near a donkley drinking Vodka out of a bucket.
Joker, Nick, Curve: SKULL!, SKULL!!, SKULL!!!
Trippy P: Hell yes!
He begins to fight with the Donkey over rights to the vodka.
We cut away, as Trippy P has the donkey in a headlock, Joker, Nick and Curve cheering and A-Damn throwing popcorn.
|
|