The Fantasy Hardcore Thread

["Sick" Nick™]

It's a cold rainy night in New York City. A figure is seen walking down a low lit, rundown street. This man, wearing a trench coat stops in front of a rundown building. As he looks up, smoke comes out of his mouth from the cold. He reads the signs posted on the boards that board up the building, which read "Closed Due To Bed Bug Infestation."

This strange figure looks at his watch to see it is 2:38am. He looks down the street and then the other way to see if anyone is around. No one is there, so he kicks the door in. This figure enters the building. He is greeted buy a statue of a naked woman. Yes it is that statue and yes it is that building. He gives the statue a hug and continues on through the building.

The figure enters and arena and starts to walk down the stairs, dragging his finger along the dusty and spider web filled seats. He flicks the dirt and webs off and heads to the locker room area. The figure stops as he sees the singes on a wall from an old fire. He reminisces before entering a locker room.

As he enters the room he sees objects from his past; kendo sticks, cookie sheet pans, a barbwire wrapped prosthetic leg, ect. He walks right past them and over to a closet. He opens the door and grabs a bag. He quickly runs out of the room, down the hall and up the stairs to the roof. As he reaches the top, he rips the bag open and flings off the trench coat. Standing there under the moon light is "Sick" Nick with the FHT Hardcore Championship.

"Sick" Nick (Yelling):
As the last FHT Hardcore Champion, I stand here in front of you, the wrestling god and I invoke my championship rights!

Nick quickly raises the championship high in the air.

"Sick" Nick (Yelling):
ACTIVATION POWERS UNITE ! ! !

Nothing happens.

"Sick" Nick (Yelling):
ThunderCats - HO!

Still nothing.

"Sick" Nick:
Go-Go Gadget?

Nothing.

"Sick" Nick:
Cowabunga?

Nick looks at the title and starts to shake it, as if that will help.

"Sick" Nick (Yelling):
IF YOU SMELLALALALALAAAAAA... What the ROCK... Is cooking ! ! !

A bird flies by.

"Sick" Nick:
Damn things broken... Oh well.

Nick takes his belt and climbs down a gutter as the new Fantasy Hardcore Thread Era begins.

[tpc]

"Sick" Nick climbs down the gutter into a dark ally that is sudden lite up with lights from ever where Nick looks around and there is everything Hardcore you could possible think of Nick suddenly notices someone coming toward him from the dark end of the ally the person steps into the light with a mic in hand and a ref

Sicholas: Its now time for your main event of the evening for the Hardcore Championship of the WORLDDDDDDDDD

Introduction first standing at 6'3 and weighing in at 243lbs from New York City New York your Hardcore Champion FHT Hall of Famerrrrrr "SICK" NICK

And

The challenger standing at 6' and weighing in at 225lbs from Hollywood CA son of FHT Hall of Famerrrrrr The Peep's Champ the new King of Hardcore and your future Hardcore Champion SICHOLAS

Sicholas suddenly pitches the mic and nails Nick with a fast ball to the head before he runs at Nick and nails him with a knee to the gut taking the air from him Sicholas then sends Nick crashing threw some windows laying next to the wall before he makes the pin 1 2 kick out

Sicholas pulls Nick up by the head and irish whips him but its reversed and Sicholas is sent into some barb wire that is hung up with two post Sicholas stumbles back and is met with a hard clothesline to the back of the head Nick rolls Sicholas over and goes for the pin 1 2 kick out

Nick gets up and looks around before picking up a barb wire wrapped bat he comes at Sicholas but is met with a punch to the gut as Sicholas tries to fight him off but Nick nails him with a knee to the head before lifting Sicholas head back up and scraping it with the barb wire bat and Sicholas begins to bleed

Sicholas manages to get up to his feet as he nails Nick with stiff elbows to the head NIck stumbles back before Sicholas nails him with a pele kick and Nick goes down Sicholas crawls over to him for the pin 1 2 kick out Sicholas pulls himself up to his feet as he looks around before grabbing some barb wire he begins to wrap it around his knee

Nick gets up and sneaks up behind Sicholas he turns him around and nails a standing tornado DDT onto a near by brick before he makes the cover 1 2 kick out Nick can't believe it as he drags Sicholas up to his feet he signals that its over but Sicholas nails him with a kick to the gut he sets Nick up for a powerbomb he lefts Nick up and snaps it off into a cutter as Nick lifts his head up holding his jaw in pain Sicks nails him with a barb wired wrapped "SICH" KNEE before he makes the cover 1 2....3

WINNER AND NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION: SICHOLAS

Sicholas picks up the Hardcore Championship as he looks down at the falling "Sick" Nick he smiles before walking away[/b][/i]

[Absolute Horror]

*Sicholas turns a corner with the Hardcore belt in hand and the ref close behind. They walk out onto a dark sidewalk in the shadow of the FHT Arena as the screech of tires are heard in the distance. They look around, but like the adjacent arena, the scene is empty.

They reach a crosswalk, and wait for the light to turn before crossing. Screeching tires are heard closer as they make it halfway across. Suddenly they are caught in a flood of headlights. The ref dives out of the way as a white Roles Royce smashes into Sicholas!

Sicholas flies back a few feet as the very expensive car comes to a stop. The ref gets up and dusts himself off as the car’s chauffeur gets out. He walks over and opens a door, and out steps final ELITE World Heavyweight Champion and FHT/ELITE Hall of Famer NIN Horror!

NIN straightens his Armani suit and surveys the scene. He walks over to Sicholas and hunches over to go for the cover, but then stops himself when he sees the blood. NIN snaps at his driver, who then comes over with a towel. The driver lays the towel over Sicholas’ body, and NIN goes for the cover, 1…2…3!

Referee: Your NEW Hardcore Champion, NIN Horror!

The ref hands NIN the Hardcore title belt as he smiles. NIN straightens his suit and slings the belt over his shoulder…

[The F'N Legend Lbm]

THE F'N LEGEND LBM...

NIN Horror has barely had a second to savour his victory as he turns around to see his old enemy The F'N Legend Lbm standing staring at him in the darkness.

Lbm superkicks NIN Horror square in the face. He picks him up and drags him over and smashes his face off his Rolls Royce windscreen.

Lbm picks up NIN Horror and german suplexes the back of his head off the car bonnet!!! He pins him! One, Two, Three!!![/color]

10 Nov 2002... Lbm becomes the 1st FHT Hardcore Champion & Launches FHT!!!

10 Nov 2010... Lbm celebrates by winning his estimated 50 somethingth FHT Hardcore Championship!!!![/color]

[tpc]

Lbm jumps inside the smashed up rolls royce and speeds off with the Hardcore Championship in hand several miles down the road the rolls royce is suddenly side swiped by a ambulance which sends the rolls royce flipping end over end before finally coming to a stop on its side before slowly falling back over to onto its wheels

Sicholas steps out of the ambulance still a bit shaking up from being hit by a car he slowly makes his way over to the rolls royce when suddenly the door opens and Lbm falls out he begins to crawl trying to get away from Sicholas but to no avail Sicholas grabs Lbm and yanks him up before slinging him into the rolls royce

Sicholas again picks up Lbm as he drags a helpless Lbm onto the smashed up rolls royce where he set Lbm up for a powerbomb he lifts Lbm up into a gory special he grabs Lbm by the head and pulls it on back as he wraps his arm around Lbm before nailing him with a gory special complete shot onto the smashed rolls royce

Sicholas makes his way back over to the ambulance and drags out a shaking up ref over to Lbm who slowly slides off the side of the rolls royce he lands on his knees and Sicholas nails him with "SICH" KNEE before making the cover 1 2....3

WINNER AND NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION: Sicholas

Sicholas gets up and grabs the Hardcore Championship from the smashed rolls royce before nailing the ref with it he then gets back into the ambulance and takes off[/b][/i]

[Absolute Horror]

*Sicholas is speeding off in the ambulance with the lights going and the siren blazing. Suddenly a man with a bloody face runs out into the street and Sicholas slams on the breaks. The man yells for help and Sicholas reluctantly gets out of the vehicle.

Sicholas approaches the injured man and tries to tell him he’s not a doctor. The man grabs Sicholas and pleads with him, but Sicholas pushes him back. Sicholas turns around and gets nailed by NIN Horror with a YakuzaSL Kick!

The man, NIN’s driver, wipes off his face as NIN stomps on Sicholas with his very expensive shoes. NIN goes for the cover, but there’s no ref around. NIN and his driver look around, and NIN gets back up. NIN looks at his driver, and tells him to take off his jacket.

The driver complies as NIN checks around in the ambulance. He comes back with a big black Sharpie, and starts drawling lines down his driver’s white dress shirt. Sicholas gets back up and grabs NIN. He turns him around and goes for the “Sich” DDT, but NIN counters with a small package. His driver counts, 1…2…3!

Drivereferee: Your NEW Hardcore Champion, NIN Horror!

NIN gets up quickly and snaps at his driver. They run and jump into the ambulance as Sicholas gets back on his feet. He chases after them, and grabs onto the back of the vehicle as it takes off…

[tpc]

NIN and his driver is speeding down the road as NIN suddenly looks out the mirror to noticeSicholas is holding onto the back of the ambulance NIN rolls down the window and begins to climb out as his diver grabs him

Driver: What are you doing

NIN: I'm going get read of some extra weight just keep driving

NIN proceeds to make his way out the window to the top of the ambulance where he is meet with stomps from Sicholas before he is pulled up to his feet the two start trading right hands on top of the ambulance suddenly the abulance takes a hard right up a exit to a four lane and they both nearly fall off

NIN/Sicholas: WATCH YOUR DAMN DRIVEN

NIN goes for another right hand but Sicholas ducks under as NIN turns around he is meet with a pele kick from Sicholas NIN stumbles to the edge of the ambulance where he tries to keep his balance Sicholas runs toward him and goes for a baseball slide but NIN gets control of his balance and leaps over Sicholas cause him to slide off the ambulance at the last moment he catches himself from falling

NIN smiles as he walks toward Sicholas before he tries to stomp his hand Sicholas moves it and holds on with his other hand NIN goes to stomp it but again Sicholas moves his hand before dropping down to the bumper of the ambulance he reaches up and pulls NIN down with him

They begin to trade right hands and NIN ends up getting control with a huge right hand knocking Sicholas down who keeps himself from falling by grabbing the the ambulance back door handle NIN goes to stomp Sicholas but he pulls the handle causing the doors to fly open both man hold on for their lives as the doors swing back and forth

As the two come at each other Sicholas nails NIN with a double kick as the doors fly open again they come back at each other as NIN nails Sicholas with a double kick as they swing back in forth they trade double kicks trying to knock each other off suddenly a rig horn is heard

Sicholas eyes get huge as he swings back out to see a rig coming toward him he quickly thinks as he begins to run up the side of the rig he boosts himself up onto the hood of the ring with help from the ambulance door he quickly gets up and jumps on top of the truck he runs down the trailer of the truck toward the ambulance and jumps back onto the ambulance he whips the sweat from his for head before he falls backward from shock realizing what just happen

Teens Passing By: HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

Sicholas slowly gets up still in shock as he is meet with a kick to the face by NIN a wooden bed pick up truck full of chicken pens pulls along side of the ambulance as NIN smiles he begins to pick Sicholas up butt suddenly SIcholas lifts NIN up on his shoulders he leaps off the ambulance toward the pick up and nails NIN with a DVD threw the chicken pins the ambulance and pick up truck comes to a sliding stop as feathers fly ever where the old man from the truck quickly gets out and runs to the back of the truck as Sicholas is seen pushing NIN out threw the wreckage

Teens Passing By: HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

Old Man: Gag nam it what do you think your doing

Sicholas answers by super kicking the old man as NINs driver tries to sneak up behind him but Sickolas trucks around and catches him the driver begins pleading

Sicholas: JUST COUNT

Sicholas pins NIN 1 2...3

NEW HARDCORE CHAMPION: Sicholas

["Sick" Nick™]

Meanwhile, back in front of the FHT Arena, "Sick" Nick finally wakes up. He is lying in the gutter with a bum who is spooning with him.

"Sick" Nick:
Man, what happened!?!

Nick turns over and sees the bum.

"Sick" Nick:
AAAHHHH!!! Who are you!?!

The bum just turns over and continues to sleep in the gutter.

"Sick" Nick:
Man, that was a crazy night! . . . Sleeping with a bum... Thought I had a crazy dream that The Peep's Champ and I had a child together and HE ATTACKED ME ! ! !

The bum farts, and then scratches his behind.

"Sick" Nick:
Well, anyway... I must regain my Hardcore Championship!

Nick leaps to his feet, throws his arms out in front of his and runs off, making believe he is flying. Nick runs to the corner and makes a sharp turn, running right into a hot dog vendor's cart, knocking it over. The hot dog vendor gabs a handful of dirty hot dogs off the floor and starts to chase after Nick, every once in a while throwing a dirty hot dog at him.

Nick runs two blocks down where a bunch of smashed up vehicles are parked. In the back of one vehicle sits Sicholas, who is trying to eat a living chicken.

Sicholas:
I'm Hardcore!!! [Bite] I'm Hardcore!!! [Bite] I'm Hardcore!!! [Bite]

Nick runs up to Sicholas and stops.

"Sick" Nick:
Stop in the name of the FDA! That food is not cooked properly and may contain salmonella!

Confused, Sicholas stops mid bite.

Sicholas:
But I'm hardcore!

The hot dog man finally catches up and wings a handful of hot dogs at Nick. Nick reaches up, while ducking them and grabs hold of one. Nick face Sicholas and says...

"Sick" Nick:
ON GUARD ! ! !

Sicholas puts down the chicken and picks up a 2x4. "Sick" Nick looks at the hot dog, then the 2x4, and then back to the hot dog. He wiggles it forcefully at Sicholas, but Sicholas isn't fazed at all. Sicholas leaps off the truck and brings the 2x4 down toward "Sick" Nick's head like a samurai sword. But Nick moves out of the way and the hot dog vendor is knocked out as the 2x4 splits in half. Nick quickly locks Sicholas up in a Sleeper Hold. Sicholas tries to break free of the hold, but Nick has it locked in tight.

Sicholas does not give up however. He continues to try and break free. Sicholas grabs Nick's hand that is wrapped around his throat and tries to force it off. Realizing Sicholas is about to break out, Nick jams the hot dog that is still in his hand into Sicholas' ear. Sicholas quickly breaks out of the hold and moves away.

Sicholas:
EEEWWW!!! THAT IS DISGUSTING ! ! ! Don't you know I am a vegetarian?

"Sick" Nick:
You were just trying to eat a chicken!

Sicholas:
Hmm... You are right.

Nick looks down at the Hardcore Championship, followed quickly by Sicholas. Nick makes a mad dash at the title, as does Sicholas. Sicholas leaps at the championship that is laying on the floor. But "Sick" Nick instead leaps over Sicholas and runs over to the ambulance. He grabs a portable defibrillator and turns to Sicholas. As Sicholas gs up with the Hardcore Title in hand, Nick shocks the crap out of Sicholas... Literally... A stain was left in his pants!

Sicholas falls to the floor and Nick makes the cover. The chicken truck driver counts to three, crowning "Sick" Nick as the 2x Hardcore Champion.

Nick grabs the title and runs toward a man riding a motorcycle. He knocks him off Grand Theft Auto style and leaps onto the bike. Nick rides off into the sunrise, down the mean streets of Manhattan (which looks a lot like Liberty City). Nick heads toward Citi Field, home of the world famous New York Mets!

[Absolute Horror]

*The chicken truck driver, the motorcyclist, some gawky teens, the hot dog vendor, and NIN’s chauffeur are all standing around not talking to each other, quite awkwardly. Sicholas is still lying on the street, with steam coming out of his ears. NIN Horror bursts out from the chicken pen wreckage and shakes the mess out of his hair. He gets up and gets out of the truck bed as his driver walks over. NIN looks around, and then looks at his dirty suit.*

NIN: Unacceptable!

*NIN rips off his soiled Armani suit to reveal … a clean Valentino suit. His driver hands him a towel, and NIN wipes off his face and hair.*

NIN: What happened?

Driver: “Sick” Nick came and reacquired the championship. And then he appropriated away with that gentleman’s motorized bike.

NIN: Where did he make off to?

Driver: I believe him to be making his way to the Citi Baseballing Field.

*NIN looks around.*

NIN: You know this?

Driver: I deduced it, sir.

*NIN takes a deep breath, and tells his driver to hail a cab. NIN spots Sicholas rolling around on the street, and pulls a Ghetto Fork out of his jacket pocket. NIN walks over and stabs … the tires of the ambulance and the chicken truck. A taxi pulls by and NIN’s driver opens the back seat door for him. NIN gets in and points at the cabbie with his thumb. His driver nods, walks over, and drags the man out of the car. NIN’s driver gets behind the wheel, and they take off for Citi Field…

["Sick" Nick™]

Meanwhile, back to Nick, Nick is heading down the Grand Central Parkway with the Hardcore Championship strapped around his shoulder singing "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake.



"Sick" Nick (Singing out of key and high pitched):
I don't know where I'm going.
But I sure know where I've been.
Hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday.
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time,
but here I go again.
Here I go again.

Tho' I keep searching for an answer.
I never seem to find what I'm looking for.
Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on,
'cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.

[Starts to pound his fist on the handle of the motorcycle.]

Here I go again on my own.
Goin' down the only road I've ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.
An' I've made up my mind,
I ain't wasting no more time.

Just another heart in need of rescue.
Waiting on love's sweet charity.
An' I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days.
'Cos I know what it means,
to walk along the lonely street of dreams.

[Pounds his fist on the handle of the motorcycle again.]

Here I go again on my own.
Goin' down the only road I've ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.
An' I've made up my mind,
I ain't wasting no more time.
But here I go again.
Here I go again.
Here I go agaaaaain.
Here I goooooo!

[Holds up a lighter, which is hard to keep lit doing 60 down a highway.]

'Cos I know what it means,
To walk along the lonely street of dreams.

[Nick starts to pump his fist in the air, with lighter in hand.]

Here I go again on my own.
Goin' down the only road I've ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.
An' I've made up my mind,
I ain't wasting no more time.

Here I go again on my own.
Goin' down the only road I've ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.
'Cos I know what it means,
To walk along the lonely street of dreams.
Here I go again on my own.
Goin' down the only road I've ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone...

Nick gets off at the Whitestone Expressway exit. Next stop is Citi Field.

[Former FHT Employee Daniel Ice]

[But Nick's journey is about to run into an unexpected detour. As Nick rides down the road on his stolen motorbike bellowing out classics, he's stopped by an odd sign, that looks almost hand-painted. "Road Works. Traffic Redirection ->". Nick grumbles under his breath and takes the right turn into what looks suspiciously like an alleyway. A startled yelp from a cat narrowly avoiding his tires causes him to finally stop at which point a loud CRACK echoes across the alley as a baseball bat slams against Nick's head, as out from the shadows comes the Dark Angel]

Dark Angel:
Fore.

"Sick" Nick:
That's golf, you idiot!

[Angel looks embarrassed for a brief moment but counters with another bat shot to Nick's head. Nick tries to fend off Angel, rolling from the motorcycle and into a few trashcans, lobbing what he can find to hand at the imposing monster. Angel uses the bat to knock the items away, approaching Nick looking focused. Nick suddenly charges and spears Angel into the bike, which upends it and sends both men careening into some more trashbags]

"Sick" Nick:
Dammit, Angel, why were you hanging around in an alley anyway?

Dark Angel:
The business has been hard on me the past year. How many companies do you think want to hire a guy who's resume is basically "Joined FHT/ELITE" "Fired from FHT/ELITE" repeated twenty times?

[Nick lays some strong right hands onto Angel as he tries to find his balance. He smashes Angel over the head with a garbage can lid and stumbles up to his bike, trying to quickly make his escape. Just before he can get it started though, Angel is up and pulls Nick right off the bike and slams him into the side of the building. Nick leaps at Angel, but finds Angel's hand over his throat... Unearthly Destroyer right into the side of the building! Angel makes a cover...]

Dark Angel:
...Oh right, need a referee.



Dark Angel:
Hey you! Count to three!

[1...2... Kickout! Nick kicks out! Dark Angel looks amazed, and then pissed. He grabs the motorcycle and with all his strength lifts the motorcycle up and deposits it over Nick, who makes a loud wheezing sound as the air is driven out of him. Angel covers again... 1... 2... 3!]

Dark Angel:
Yes! Finally, I have reached my destiny and fulfilled my dark purpose in yadda yadda yadda. Right, I feel like celebrating my first taste of FHT gold, as I have a feeling this is going to be a long and successful reign! You there, striped polo shirt guy! What you got in your apartment?

[Angel picks up the belt and leaves Nick struggling under the huge weight of the motorcycle as he coerces the guy to let him upstairs into the building next to the alley for a celebration of Angel's first Hardcore Title win!]

["Sick" Nick™]

Just as Dark Angel enters the building, an Unidentified Flying Object flies in and hovers over Nick. A beam is shot down at Nick and the heavy motorcycle is beamed up to the space craft. As the motorcycle enters the ship, the UFO shoots away. "Sick" Nick, relieved that the motorcycle is off him, kips up and chases after Dark Angel. As he gets behind Angel, Nick leaps forward and knocks Angel into the resident crack whore. Think Angel is trying to get a little free something-something, the crack whore smashes her glass bong into Dark Angel's face. Dark Angel stumbles backward toward Nick, who locks him up into a Crossface Chicken Wing. Nick keeps it locked in for a minute before giving him a Crossface Chicken Wing Suplex into a bunch of dirty boxes. Nick makes the cover as the ref counts to three, making him the 3x Hardcore Champion.

"Sick" Nick:
Congratulations on your first title reign. I have to admit, that was a long reign... lasted like what? Two minutes? Most of these reigns last like a minute or less!

Nick grabs the title and heads to the Crack Whore's bathroom. All that weight from the motorcycle pushing on his intestines did a number on him.

[Absolute Horror]

*The scene cuts to the front of the Citi Field stadium. A taxi pulls up and the driver steps out. He walks around to the back, opens a door, and out pounces NIN Horror ready for action!

But the area is completely vacant. NIN is frozen in a wrestling stance as he and his driver look confused. Some very noisy crickets are heard as NIN clears his throat and straightens his tie. NIN looks at his driver.*

NIN: Well?

Driver: Maybe we’re early.

NIN: Hmm, it’s a pretty big place. Maybe Nick’s at another gate. We’ll just have to drive around the building until we find him.

*NIN snaps at his driver before getting back in the taxi. His driver closes his door, then jogs around to the driver’s seat. The taxi pulls off…

[Former FHT Employee Daniel Ice]

[Nick is still in the bathroom, trying to find a way to style his hair. Spikes look too 90s. Parting it looks too 50s. Finally, Nick just gives up and leaves, nodding politely at the crack whore as he passes. He hails for a cab, and when it gets near, the license plate says "fresh" and there's a dice in the mirror. Nick certainly acknowledges that this cab is rare, but hey, forget it, yo homes, to Bel Ai- The Citi Baseball Field]

Cab Driver:
Hey man, you look rough. Too much partying?

"Sick" Nick:
No, no. I'm just a wrestler, defending this here FHT Hardcore Championship.

Cab Driver:
FHT? God, that rings a bell. Didn't it have an arena get burned down once?

"Sick" Nick:
Yes, that was a real tragic night and I'd prefer not to-

Cab Driver:
Yeah, yeah it was! I remember, it was this huge ball of orange flame and black smoke and the firefighters were just staring at it, I mean they weren't even really bothering because once something goes that far aflame, its got no chance. They were just gonna let it burn out, a lot easier that way.

"Sick" Nick:
That place was my home for nearly a decade.

Cab Driver:
And I remember it roaring and people running around just in a daze of panic, and this Australian bloke loudly swearing about some three letter thing, might've been his insurance or something I dunno. Very lucky no one got hurt. And they built a new one right on top of it, all nice and high-tech, which was such an improvement as the old one was a real eyesore.

"Sick" Nick:
...You know, I think I can walk from here.

Cab Driver:
Alright mate, that's $20.

[Nick mumbles some barely heard insults about the price before handing the cash over. The cab driver still has his hand out, expecting a tip, but Nick leaves the cab and immediately starts walking towards the arena. Suddenly, he is lifted up from his feet as a motorbike shoots past him and the rider grabs him by the throat. Nick is caught between trying to breathe and needing to hang on for dear life as the Dark Angel dangles him over the road while driving ever closer to the arena]

Dark Angel:
I'm riding a motorbike! Let's see them call me an Undertaker rip-off now!

[Nick tries to spit out a retort but can't, due to hand on his throat. He takes a gamble and lauches towards Angel, getting on the bike himself and twisting Angel's arm back. Angel throws a few elbows back at Nick, but is distracted and the bike starts to skid, heading down a ramp and onto a baseball field, ripping up the pitch and sending mud and grass flying everywhere as the two men hit the ground, groaning. At which point, NIN Horror walks in, looking somewhat baffled by what he just witnessed]

NIN Horror:
Well, that was certainly unexpected.

[Ash Strife]

So there are the three men, two in pain on the ground. One completely confused when the sound of thunder roars from the ground. All Angel and Nick sit up and Horror just looks around.

WHEN A RIP IN SPACE AND TIME OPENS UP AND SUCKS ALL THREE MEN THOUGH IT? No… YES! IT DOES!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Nick: No not the 60’s

Voice: Sorry Nick but you’re going even further.

SPLASH

All three men land in a river and swim their way out when the sound of Thunder returns again to find OVER 1 MILLION MEN RIVER DANCING and what the fuck am I talking about… CAK comes out of nowhere and bonks Nick on the head and pins him 1.2.3

CAK new Champion.

CAK then flips the light switch to shut off the projector screen and don’t know where the thunder came form