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Post by The Reverend Daddy Joe on Jul 1, 2013 18:48:06 GMT -5
Nick finds his way into the bathroom. Sitting in a stall enjoying a newspaper, Nick checks his watch, and deciding he has sat in that stall long enough (18 days to be precise), he finally reaches for the toilet paper. Nick's eyes go wide in shock and horror as he relizes that there is no toilet paper in the stall.
"Looking for these?" A voice says from outside the stall. Standing there in the bathroom is RDJ with a sack full of rolls of toilet paper.
"Oh no. Give me one of those rolls. It's a mess down there. It looks like a waterpark in a third world country in here." Nick pleads.
"Tap out." Joe replies coldly while leaning against the sink.
"What? NO!"
"TAP OUT!"
"NEVER!"
Joe throws the sack of his shoulder and turns toward the door. "Suit yourself."
"No, wait!" Nick yells while trapped in the stall. "Fine." Nick taps on the side of the stall and kicks the belt over.
Winner by Submission and NEW Hardcore Champion: RDJ
RDJ takes the belt and the sack, leaving Nick helplessly yelling and pounding on the bathroom stall.
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Post by The F'N Legend Lbm on Jul 6, 2013 19:30:28 GMT -5
RDJ and Nick men's public toilet fun you say? Musters best Ron Simmons voice ... ... ... DAMN!!!
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Post by The F'N Legend Lbm on Jul 6, 2013 19:34:05 GMT -5
Oh shit I forgot - as RDJ wonders back out of the gents with hardcore belt and sack in hand LBM does something zaney and what do you know ends up pinning Joe! 123 - a cleaner counts! Lbm is declared win!
NEW OWNER OF Sack of toilet rolls... Lbm!!!
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"Sick" Nick™
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Post by "Sick" Nick™ on Jul 8, 2013 9:37:48 GMT -5
Nick waddles out of the bathroom with his pants down around his ankles and a mess back there. Nick looks at RDJ, knocked out with the title in his hand and then to Lbm, who is holding the sack of toilet paper. Nick flings his fingers in the direction of Lbm and RDJ as the crowd in unison yells... YOU ! ! ! ! ! Lbm freezes in his tracks as Nick hits him with a flying messy Stink Face. Lbm knocks his head on a shelf, knocking him unconscious. Nick drags Lbm's limp body over RDJ's and Nick pins both men. The janitor counts 3 again as Nick wins the FHT Hardcore championship for the tenth time, along with the sack of toilet paper. Nick wipes up, grabs the title and heads to a street corner, hot dog vendor with his pants still around his ankles.
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Post by Trey Spruance on Aug 31, 2013 19:12:02 GMT -5
Nick orders a hot dog. The hot dog vendor grabs Nicks dick and deep fat fries it.
Nick- Ahhh i should have known! Trey you bastard!
Trey puts nicks dick in a hot dog bun and pours some mustard on it. Nick just stands there crying.
Trey- are you gona pay for that or what?
Nick passes out from the pain. Trey makes the cover for the 3 count.
Trey- anybody hungry? Free hot dog attached to that mans torso!
Trey goes to a bar and orders a whiskey and coke with his newly won title over his shoulder.
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"Sick" Nick™
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Post by "Sick" Nick™ on Sept 1, 2013 19:48:33 GMT -5
The bartender hands Trey his drink. Trey downs the glass and quickly spits it out.
Trey: OH MY GOD! What was that crap!?!
Bartender: Wheat Grass Juice with a little twist of zucchini.
Trey: Wait a second...
The bartender looks up to reveal "Sick" Nick!
Trey (While grabbing at his throat): But you... I left you... You were laying... And then youuuuuu . . . . .
Trey drops to the floor after over dosing on something healthy. Nick lays a finger on Trey's chest. A girl scout hops off the chair next to Trey to count.
Girl Scout: One... Two... Three!
Nick grabs his crotch and adjusts with a visual pain on his face while picking up his title for the 11x.
Nick heads to the roof to stand there mysteriously as the Hardcore title blows in the wind.
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Post by Test Account on Sept 3, 2013 12:47:21 GMT -5
As Nick stands there, Rodney Paine hits him with his Paine stick right in the back of the head. Nick does a swan dive off the roof and lands in a dumpster full of trash. Rodney grabs a tile off the roof and drops an elbow, crashing the tile into Nick's face. A mutated rat emerges from the sewer and counts to three. Rodney grabs the title and follows the rat into the sewer.
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Post by The F'N Legend Lbm on Sept 4, 2013 5:06:59 GMT -5
The Rodney Paine? Holy shit!!! Is this really him? Ummm says a random passerby!
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Post by Trey Spruance on Sept 7, 2013 9:19:01 GMT -5
Trey takes a massive dump which crushes Rodney in the sewer. The rat counts to 3 again. New hardcore champion Treys shit!
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"Sick" Nick™
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Post by "Sick" Nick™ on Sept 7, 2013 10:22:39 GMT -5
All of a sudden, a figure falls from a sewer opening and hits a Frog Splash on the current reigning Hardcore champ... Trey's shit! The piece of shit is splattered all over. The rat looks around and raises Nick's hand.
Rat: And winner due to Referee stoppage... The now 12x FHT Hardcore Champion . . . "Sick" Nick ! ! !
"Sick" Nick: Thank you Master Splinter.
Nick bows as Master Splinter heads off with four shadowy figures.
"Sick" Nick: Dijon... What are you doing down here in the sewers? And why are you wearing those glasses and fake mustache?
Lbm (w/ glasses and fake mustache): Umm... Just passing by.
"Sick" Nick: In the sewers? . . . Weird.
Lbm (w/ glasses and fake mustache): Did you see, Rodney Paine is back!
"Sick" Nick: No. That was just a Chase clone wearing a Rodney Paine mask. Look closer.
Lbm (w/ glasses and fake mustache): Interesting.
"Sick" Nick: Anyway...
Nick grabs the title and makes believe that he flies out of the sewer. As Nick climbs out of the sewer, he runs down the street aimlessly with his hands out, still making believe he can fly.
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Post by Joker Jr on Nov 25, 2013 21:28:45 GMT -5
Days later in a thread somewhere else....
FANTASY
FANTASY
FANTASY
[Suddenly Darth Vader gets spun around.....THE START!!! Chase Stapleton reaches down and pulls off the mask.....ITS "SICK" NICK!!! Chase Stapleton motions for someone as he makes the pin. A clone runs down in a referee shirt.]
1
2
3
NEW FANTASY HARDCORE CHAMPION: CHASE STAPLETON[/I]
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"Sick" Nick™
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Post by "Sick" Nick™ on Dec 25, 2013 15:27:50 GMT -5
It's the eve of Christmas and we see Chase tucking someone into bed. Chase:You get in there tight little one. If you go to sleep now, Santa will come. Chase moves out of the way to reveal a tucked in Hardcore Championship. Chase:Just think. We have been together for a month tomorrow... One month on Christmas day! Chase sighs with a smile on his face. He heads off down the hall and hops in his bed. He pulls the covers right up to his chin, with a big cheesey grin. Chase:Oh boy... SANTA'S COMING TONIGHT! I hope he brings me a Playstation 4... And an Xbox One... And a pony... And an Easy Bake Oven. . . And a Monopoly game. . . And... [YAWN]... a "Sick" Nick... Action figure. . . And a. . . Chase finally falls asleep. - - = = One Hour Later = = - - A shadowy figure slides down a rope and lands on a roof. He gives a thumbs up and a chopper takes off. Shadowy Figure:Sorry, that is way better then flying reindeer. He swings a sack over his shoulder and heads over to the chimney. He looks down the stack. Shadowy Figure:Yea, that's not happening. He throws the rope around the chimney and repeals off the roof and crashes through a window on the side of the house. The man lands on his feet. As he stands tall, glass falls to the floor. Chase, startled, jumps up to a sitting position. Chase:SANTA ! ! ! The big red suited man, in the flesh! Santa stands there with big black leather boots, a pair of red velvet Santa shorts, a red flannel Santa suit, a pair of totally rad sunglasses and a cigar-like candy cane in his mouth. "Saint" Nick:That's right Chase... It's good ol' "Saint" Nick! Chase gasps. Chase:OOOOHHHHHH! He knows my name! "Saint" Nick:Get over here you little asshole. I've got a present for ya. Chase leaps out of the bed, runs over to "Saint" Nick and is met with a bag full of toys to the face. Chase hits the floor like a ton of bricks. Good ol' "Saint" Nick reaches into his bag and pulls out a steel chair wrapped in barbwire. As Chase gets up, he levels him with the chair. "Saint" Nick:On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A barbed wire chair shoot to the face! Woozy, Chase starts to get up again. "Saint" Nick:On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... "Saint" Nick reaches in his bag again and pulls out a... "Saint" Nick:. . . Two shoots to the gut with a plastic wiffle ball bat with thumb tacks glued on it... "Saint" Nick grabs the steel chair wrapped in barbwire. "Saint" Nick:. . . And a barbed wire chair shoot to the face! "Saint" Nick reaches in his bag again. "Saint" Nick:On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nick pulls out a lion tamer's whip. "Saint" Nick:. . . Three whips to the back... "Saint" Nick picks up the plastic wiffle ball bat. "Saint" Nick:. . . Two shoots to the gut with a plastic wiffle ball bat with thumb tacks glued on it... "Saint" Nick looks around for the chair. "Saint" Nick:. . . And a . . . Nick can't find the chair. "Saint" Nick:. . . And a . . . Nick still can't find it. "Saint" Nick:Screw it! Nick lifts Chase up, kicks him in the stomach and lifts him up into a "Sick" Bomb. [BAM!] Chase is sent smashing into his bed, causing it to collapse. Nick goes for the cover when Harry Hebner, who is dressed up as a sexy elf, makes the count. Harry "The Sexy Elf" Hebner:One... Two... Three... Nick runs into the next room and grabs the belt. He leaps to the window and looks back before leaving. "Saint" Nick:Keep the change... You filthy animal! "Saint" Nick leaps out of the window and crashes to the floor, knocking him out cold. Harry "The Sexy Elf" Hebner:Your 13x Hardcore Champion folks... "Sick" . . . Umm... I mean, "Saint" Nick. Merry Christmas to all. Hebner looks out the window shaking his head as the new Hardcore Champion lays there unconscious.
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Post by Trey Spruance on Jan 26, 2014 19:00:29 GMT -5
Trey is walking by drinking a beer. He spots nick on the floor.
Trey: dude Christmas was over ages ago. Nick? Nick... Nick!
Trey boots nick in the ribs. He doesnt move.
Trey: fuck it whatever.
Trey pins nick with one foot.
New fht hardcore champion Trey Spruance!
Trey lights a cigarette and heads to the airport to fly home to the UK.
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"Sick" Nick™
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Post by "Sick" Nick™ on Apr 8, 2014 21:19:27 GMT -5
After more than two months, Trey finally flies into the UK.
Trey: Boy, my arms are tired.
All of a sudden, Nick pokes him in the eyes. Trey stumbles backwards.
Trey: Oww! Why would you do that?
A bus hits Trey. Nick pins him to become a 14X Hardcore Champion.
Trey: ahh...
Nick walks back to the United States.
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Post by Trey Spruance on Apr 9, 2014 15:19:08 GMT -5
Trey catches up to nick near the coast of wales.
Nick: right, now all I need to do is walk across the ocean.
Nick puts his foot in the water.
Nick: fuck its cold. Plus I'm not Jesus like I thought I was.
While nick is debating this trey smacks him over the head with a watermelon. It explodes everywhere and nick just looksat trey pissed.
Nick: trey why did you think that would knock me out?
Trey: umm... Low blow!
Nick: what?
Trey kicks nick in the nuts and rolls him up in a small package.
A mermaid makes the count to three.
New fht hardcore champion trey spruance!
Trey laughs and lights a cigarette.
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